The 8 Polish Foods of Christmas

This is a Christmas favorite here at The Shoe.  Maybe it has something to do with our Polish blood.  Whatever the reason, we sing this at the top of our lungs every year.  Enjoy! :D

Carol of the Bells

Odds and Ends

If you saw my desk right now, you'd probably be scratching your head wondering how I can even begin to use my noggin.  Along with some old college textbooks that still need to be sold back, I've got various pieces of literature that I'm trying read, a few shirts, a brush, several Bibles, candles (a gift from my grandparents as an apartment-warmer for next semester), my wallet, a half-drunk water bottle, an empty Dr. B can, an apple core, a lamp, my laptop, various electrical cords, a few hair bands, and a puzzle book (which appeared out of nowhere!).

My desk.

It's nothing special.  A simple work table bought from Walmart 5 years ago.
It got me through high school and my first year of college, which means it's seen multiple exams, essays, pencils, pens, silly-putty, highlighters, and 10-pound textbooks.

It's seen me my hands shake with nerves as I've undergone various phone interviews.
It's seen me have my quiet times with the Lord.
It's seen me laugh uproariously at the crazy things that seem to accost us at The Shoe.
It's seen me listen to music while working on math.

You name it, and it's seen it.

My desk has had a lot of history over the past 5 years.  Strange, since it seems like just yesterday I was donning my cross country uniform for the first time and grabbing for my watch that lay on it's rough surface.  Can it really be 5 years ago that I was a high school freshman?  I mean, 5 years ago we were welcoming number 9 to the family, not even thinking that there would be a number 10!

And yet, it is this same desk that I'll be clearing off and hauling with me to Big D in just a little over a month.

Somehow, that kind of makes me happy.  A piece of home brought to my new home.  Yes.  :)

Dreams

She wanted to travel to far away places
But couldn't get past the brick wall
She wanted to soar with gentle graces
But her wings were crashed by a fall
She longed to sing a love song
But her heart had forgotten the tune
Poor little thing
Now what was she to do?

He came travelling
With a shining vision
In search of his heart's only love
Driven by passion of her in white linen
She's all that he's ever dreamed of

Though he found her all broken and ragged
It mattered not, cause you see
Her rags could not hide
All that he knew she could be

Now she dances in royal splendor
And her heart has a new song to sing
And I'm here to tell you
Dreams still do come true
When you are the bride of the king
Oh, I'm here to tell you
Dreams still do come true
Cause that wishful dreamer was me
~ Rhonda Gunn

words of wisdom

"If you think there isn't a passage of Scripture referring to the situation you're in right now, then you aren't looking hard enough.  You've got to mine for it like gold."  ~ Mom

is this what heaven will be like?

In the year that King Uzziah died I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up; and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him stood seraphim. Each had six wings: with two he covered his face, and with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. And one called to another and said: "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!" And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him who called, and the house was filled with smoke. And I said:"Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips, for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!"

Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a burning coal that he had taken with tongs from the altar. And he touched my mouth and said: "Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away, and your sin atoned for."

Isaiah 6:1-7

Because I Like to Dream

My passion is for family.  My heart beats for family.  I often get stressed out with changes that happen within the family.  I get overly protective of family.  I like to be supportive of family.  I love to encourage family.

I love family.

Today, a tiny newborn wailed it's little lungs out as it's mother tried to pay for her groceries.  All I wanted to do right then and there was to scoop up the baby, hold it close, and try to calm it.  I've always dreamed of having a family of my own to take care of, but the feeling never seemed so strong or so real as it did this afternoon, listening to that little baby cry.

Yes, I've had experience with babies.  I've had the privilege of having 8 younger siblings.  Some of my favorite times in life were spent meeting my brothers and sisters for the first time:

"Hi!  I'm Alex, your big sister, and I just want you to know that I love you.  I've been waiting for 9 months to get to say hello, which is a very long time to wait for a very impatient older sister.  Now that you're here, I don't want to let you go.  Ever.  I'm SO glad God placed you in my family ... OUR family.  Welcome, little one."

Have you ever had the chance to hold a baby tight and jabber away at him, even though he doesn't understand what you're saying?  Have you ever had the chance to hold her tiny, little hand in your own, and praise God for those precious, perfect fingers?  Have you ever had the chance to rock him to sleep?  Have you ever had the chance to nestle her close and tell her all about the family she's been placed in?

...I have...
...it's an experience like no other...
...one that I wouldn't trade for the world...

I can't tell you how excited I get when I think of myself 10 years down the road.  Will I be married by then?  And if so, will I already have kids of my own to love on, and to raise into godly young men and women?  It excites me to think that God might bless me with a family of my own someday.  I can't imagine the thrill of watching my children grow and mature, and then experience the bitter/sweet emotion of letting them go and start families of their own.

I think about the future, and I smile.

I can't wait to see what God has in store for me.

I simply can't wait.  :)

This makes me smile

Happenings

Oh you wanted a substantive post?  I know, it's been a long while since I've done anything akin to that.  Here goes!

Life has been C.R.A.Z.Y. of late, and things are finally starting to calm down (yay!).  I've already written about fall camp, so I'll pick up where I left off.  After camp, I came home for a few days, got a couple of hours in at work -- okay, so maybe it was more like 36 -- and then promptly left for my grandparents'.

Like I tell my mom, there's really only one place on earth where I can fully relax, and that would definitely be on my grandparents' property.  Imagine 13 gorgeous acres of rolling hills, trees taller than my house, a huge pond (which was in the process of trying very hard to be non-existent), a long gravel road, crisp fall weather, and beautiful sunny skies.  Yep.  I was in paradise!  It was also the first time in all my 19 years that I had my grandparents, aunt, uncle, and cousin all to myself.  I spent one short, but beautiful week there.

One of the best parts about that week was getting to go hiking (one of my all-time favorite things to do!) with my aunt, uncle, and cousin.  We were originally thinking it would only take us about an hour or two to hike the entire trail, but someone wanted to take a different way back to the car, and we ended up wading through two freezing cold creeks and hitting a dead end.  Yep.  Not only was it uphill the entire way back, we also had to walk through the creeks, mud, and horse manure again!  Instead of getting grumpy, we all just started laughing as we each bit off a chunk of our single granola bar and started the trek back.  All in all, we didn't get back to the car until 4 hours after we had begun.  :)

Here's the deal, over the past couple of years, a sort of exhaustion has really brought me low.  Most days I would wake up, be up and about for a few hours, then would be ready to hit the sack again.  I would move sluggishly throughout my day and be counting down the hours and minutes until I could clock out and go home.  Even on my days off, I wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed and sleep the day away.

After spending time with my family last week, all the tiredness and stress fell away!  I am now feeling refreshed enough to get through the crazy holiday season at work!  I thank the Lord for His goodness and kindness in allowing me a week of respite.

Soli Deo Gloria!

Isaiah 5:20

Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!

Something Beautiful

For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.  For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith for faith, as it is written, 'the righteous shall live by faith.'
Romans 1:16-17

I Commit

Sometimes I wish I had a pair of blinders
To cut down my point of view
Maybe then I could concentrate
Oh just living my life for You

I'm just a temple of flesh and blood
Who daily must decide
Whether to bow to the temple wall
Or to the spirit locked inside

Tonight I've got my heart
By the throat
I'm gonna stay here
Till my whole body knows

I commit my heart to the heavens
I stand to praise Your name
I commit my heart to the heavens
I am here to praise Your name

I say this simply with no regrets
I was born to testify
There's no shame in being Your servant
It's the highest call in life

Still I need to remind myself
That I'm happiest on my knees
When I am thanking You for who You are
And all You've done for me

Before these words burn a hole
On my tongue
I'm gonna praise You for all You've done

I commit my heart to the heavens
I stand here to praise Your name
I commit my heart to the heavens
I am here to praise Your name

~ Margaret Becker

Fall Camp Recap

The past couple of days have all meshed together into a sort of blur, but that's probably only because I spent most of my time in the blissful depths of unconsciousness.  Since the entirety of last week is also beginning to blend together, I think I shall do a recap in bullet points.  Bear with me:

• Saturday - the staff met up and became a new team motivated towards the same purpose, that of encouraging and requiring growth of our students in the Lord Jesus Christ.  It was a wonderful day spent meeting and getting to know one another, drinking coffee, and going through a mini training session.  Oh yeah, and singing with Sarah, Sedy, Cara, and Lauren at the top of our lungs to some awesome tunes as we spent ample time in the car!
• Sunday - my first time ever getting to practice what Worldview Academy calls "aggressive hospitality."  Over the summer I always worked registration, so it was really awesome to get my turn jumping, shouting, waving at, and just about scaring all the camp-goers and their families.  So much stinkin' fun!  :D  I also got to meet my small group for the first time and began to form a friendship with each of the girls I was entrusted with.

Favorite Small Group Memories:

• Playing a crazy game of "Egg-Chicken-Monster-Queen" on our first night together
• Going off the zip-line
• Our discussion on becoming bold for Christ
• The lengthy discussion we had on Thursday about various lectures/theological topics that gave them pause
• Listening to one of the girls sing show tunes every night before bed
• Star gazing!  If I could move to the country for one reason only, this would be it.  So beautiful!
• Telling a story by reaching a climax and then passing it on to the next girl in line (this was great fun)

Favorite Staff Memories:

• Having squat races
• Swimming when it was only about 60 degrees out
• Going to the Inn and drinking REAL coffee with Kristen and Michael
• Talking with Jarrett at length about college, work, and church ... and then going over discussion topics
• Laughing with Esther and Sedy late one night as we were getting ready for bed.  We were so sleep-deprived that we all ended up in a heap on the floor laughing till it hurt as we tried to decipher what the others were saying
• Lauren being Lauren ... I LOVE that lady!

Favorite All-Around Camp Memories:

• Staff vs. Student frisbee game!  Always a blast!
• Campfire.  During the first verse of the first song, the guitar stopped and the entire camp continued worshiping a capella.  It was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard!  I just sat back in awe as I listened to the testimonies of the students, remaining captivated in the amazing work of God
• Meeting the parents of the students.  This part of the week always slightly intimidates me as I wonder if I've helped their students truly have the best week of their lives.  But then I remember that the entire week is completely in God's hands anyway, so I just relax and enjoy conversing with the moms and dads who are eager to see what their sons and daughters have learned.  It's truly a blessing to me to be able to talk with them.

And that my friends, is a slight recap of my experience at Fall Camp.  I can't tell you how much the Lord blessed me by allowing me to, yet again, be a part of the amazing organization known as Worldview Academy.  I stand amazed again and again at the wonderful godly young men and women I have gotten to know over these past several months, and I am truly thankful for being allowed the opportunity to pour my heart and soul into the students.

Thank you, Jesus, for all that you do.  Amen.

Preparations

Excitement filled me as I held the phone tightly against my ear!  Sarah told me to call her as soon as I had a chance, and I figured it would be something about an alumni event.  I was sure surprised when, instead of plans for RENEW coming over the phone, I had an invitation to join the Worldview Academy staff once again for the Fall Camp!  I didn't see that coming!

I squealed, or did something equally girlish, as my mind hastened back to memories of the few weeks I spent staffing over the summer.  At the moment that the question was posed, I could only remember the godly men and women who I was able to get to know, and all the good times I had with my small groups.  I thought of all the excellent conversations I had with my students, and all the laughter.

As soon as I hit the "end call" button, the butterflies rushed in.  It was then that I remembered how great a responsibility it was to be on staff, and how much weight fell on my shoulders during the week.  I remembered the personal challenges I faced, and all of a sudden, my mood went from hunky dory to downright serious.  I went back to that first day of staff training and recalled the pit in my stomach telling me I wasn't ready for such a responsibility.  I remembered all the times that I could have done better, but felt something holding me back.

I talked it over with my mom.  It seemed to take a load off my mind by just talking over everything with her.  All of a sudden I had newer plans for small group times, better ideas for mealtimes, and wonderful inspirations for t-times.  I am now currently at work making plans for the week of Fall Camp.  I know that it looks perfect on paper, but I also know that what works on paper doesn't always translate into reality very smoothly, but at least I'm beginning to have something to shoot for.

I'm regaining my excitement for Worldview Academy!  It is going to be amazing to see how God works throughout the week.  If you think about it, please just pray that God's perfect plans would come to life, even if it tosses me out of my comfort zone.

Off to go do some more brainstorming!  :)

19 ... Say What?

18 was a good year.  It was filled with all kinds of new experiences that I can now add to my "have done" list.

For instance, during this past year I had my first ever nose-bleed (we're talking about an event not unlike the infamous Mt. Saint Helen's eruption), judged my first ever speech and debate tournament, started my first ever year of college, hit my 1 year mark at my job, had my first ever couple of weeks as a staffer at Worldview Academy, made my first ever apple pie with homemade pie crust (never has a more difficult feat been conquered), spent my first ever month on my own taking care of two of my brothers, etc.

Yes, 18 was full of surprises.  Probably more than I can say for 19.  Why?

19.  The forgotten year.  The year that nobody ever thinks about but everyone assumes you must live through in order to get to the age of 20.  Nothing big ever happens to 19-year-olds.  Catastrophes and adventures that happen in books and movies seem to skip right over those 19-somethings and hit either the 18-year-olds or the 20-year-olds, but never those who fall in the 19 category.

Somebody's got to change this.

I hereby declare that I will set out to make 19 the "golden age" of all teendom.  It will be a time where life is lived to its fullest, mountains are climbed, territories are settled, and grand adventures are had.  It will be a year of growth and development in my relationship towards my family and friends, and an age where important things are accomplished.

Methinks I am a bit of a dreamer ...
... but please...
...don't kill my dreams ... ;)

Get a Load of This!!!!

This video makes me laugh, clap my hands like crazy (I do so whenever I get excited or overjoyed), and generally desire to join an a cappella group. =)

Ramblings

I collapsed on the floor, shaking with the unbearable convulsions that laughter brought.

I can't tell you how much my family means to me!  My mom, sister and I sat around the kitchen reminiscing old times, times that my sister and I could recall with perfect clarity whilst my mother tried, without success, to bring the same scenes to remembrance.  Eliza and I told one story after another from our little kid years, and Mom just sat there laughing as each image was brought to life with much imitation, acting out, and singing (yes, let's not forget the singing).

It was so much fun bringing back the old times.  For instance, there was the time when we had to construct an ear (yes, a human ear) out of our school table, a pot, plastic wrap, and rubber bands.  Then there was the time that Zach dressed up like Montezuma (hawk cap and everything) and we reenacted the battle between him and Cortez.  There was even a time when we had to make a miniature version of the temple, as well as turn our living room into a larger depiction.

We relived co-ops that we did or didn't like (you should see Eliza imitating her Spanish teacher [this was the scene that had me collapsed on the floor]), and favorite unit studies.  We told the tales of which of us remembered which details from which lesson, and which ones needed a bit more prodding.

My sister and I remembered back to the times when we went crazy after dinner and brought out "the band."  These were the times when the Adams children went wild, bringing out albums by Petra, Carmen (not the opera), and Phantom of the Opera (the opera).  Each one of us had a specific instrument we had to play while one of us always took the part of the lead singer.  Then we would turn the music up loud, play our air instruments, and sing our little hearts out.  =D

Oh yes, those were the days...

Things...

a picture from pinterest that i rather like

My journal and I need to have a coffee date sometime

I'm having lots of fun with Pinterest, which has made me wish for more opportunities to go hiking ... don't ask me why

Did you know that you can actually hear the music when "working" register 19?  This is the only reason that I know that HEB has begun playing today's top 40

I have never been so thankful for my one day off a week as I am today

My Tennessee trip can't get here soon enough

"The Treasure of the Sierra Madre" is an excellent movie

I have been taken with the sudden desire to do a photoshoot with a country setting, but I have no clue as to the subject matter

beautiful country setting: pinterest



I greatly miss having time to just go do stuff ... but then the question would become, "with who," so there goes that idea...

I greatly enjoy the movie "Come What May"

My little sister turned 9 two days ago

My new slogan in life is "When all else fails, eat pie" ... believe it or not, this came from a biology class I took a year ago ... don't ask

A random person from a random phone number that I do not recognize texted me yesterday saying, "I have been waiting all day to buy you a beer ... Where are you?"

And there you have it!  A few miscellaneous thoughts and actions that have overtaken my life over the past several weeks.  I hope you enjoyed it.  ;)

another pinterest photo

Agape

Isn't it interesting how the Greeks had 4 different words meaning love, and how each of them had a slightly different definition?

Today in my quiet time I was reading 1st John.  In chapter 4, there is a whole section devoted to loving one another.   The first section that caught my attention was verses 7-12 where it states:

 "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.  Anyone who does not have love does not know God, because God is love.  In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son to be the propitiation for our sins.  Beloved, if God so loved us,we also ought to love one another.  No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us."

If you're like me, then you cringe when you hear the phrase "God is love," having heard it used and abused so many time over.  But there it was, right there in the Bible, so I knew it to be true.  I just had to pick up my word study Bible and figure out which word for "love" was being used here.  Here's what I found.

Agape; love .... translated "charity" meaning benevolent love.  Its benevolence, however, is not shown by doing what the person loved desires but what the one who loves deems as needed by the one loved.  


I have therefore found a way to debate people when they say "God is love, He would never do something like that!"  My response would be that God is love, yes, but it's a different kind of love from the mushy-gushy sort.  God loves us with an Agape love, that is that He deems what is best for His children and loves them accordingly.  Sometimes, that means pain, suffering, and good 'ol sanctification.  Take that, Rob Bell!

                               Perhaps that love could come by way of a much needed car
                         Maybe that love could come in the form of a drought
                    Sometimes it'll come by way of a bonus at work
                Or maybe by way of a destructive flood
           
This world we live in is full of backwards thinking people.  The way we see things is, should I dare to say, completely opposite of the way God sees them!  Because of this, we don't have a clue what love really is.

I really can't tell you how thrilled I am and how excited I get whenever God chooses to reveal new and wonderful gems to me.  I can't wait to see what else happens to be in the lesson plans!

Grave Robber

I admit it.  I like old music.  Okay ... I LOVE old music!  I've only recently discovered great joy in the soulful strains of motown!  It's feel-good, catchy, and jam packed with great voices like Sam Cooke and Marvin Gaye and The Temptations.  *Sigh* ... gotta love it!

As well as motown, and of course my country favorites, I have also discovered my love for older Petra songs.  Their songs are filled with wonderfully strong lyrics and are sung by men who all have amazing voices!  On of my favorites is called "Grave Robber."

{Petra}

There's a step we all must take alone

An appointment we have with the great unknown

Like a vapor this life is just waiting to pass

Like the flowers that fade like the withering grass

But life seems so long and death so complete

And the grave an impossible portion to cheat

But there's One who has been there and still lived to tell

There is One who has been through both heaven and hell

And the grave will come up empty-handed that day

Jesus will come and steal us away

{Chorus}

Where is the sting, tell me where is the bite

When the Grave Robber comes like a thief in the night

Where is the victory where is the prize

When the Grave Robber comes

And death finally dies

Many still mourn and many still weep

For those that they love who have fallen asleep

But we have this hope though our hearts may still ache

Just one shout from above and they all will awake

And in the reunion of joy we will see

Death will be swallowed in sweet victory

When the last enemy is gone from the dust will come a song

Those asleep will be awakened - not a one will be forsaken

He shall wipe away our tears - He will steal away our fears

There will be no sad tomorrow - there will be no pain or sorrow

Hmm

11 - 7:30.  That was my shift for today.  By noon, I was tired.  By 3 o'clock, I was done for the day with 4.5 hours to go.

I am physically exhausted.  By God's grace, I had just enough energy to wrap up my day.  You see, once I hit that 20 hour mark for the week, I begin to feel the strain.  It was today that I hit that mark. 

I can't tell you how amazing it feels to be sitting down right now! 

I would greatly appreciate your prayers!  I've got several more months of this kind of work, and I've only done a week and a half's worth.  At this moment, I don't see how I'm ever going to have enough energy to do this.

God, please be the source of my strength!

A Good Friend of Mine

I sighed audibly as Ms. Noble told me of Taite's choice to keep the baby after all.  I had watched, through Diane Noble's eyes as Taite went through two agonizing months where she sought to end her "problem" while her boyfriend was away at medical school.  He would be none the wiser and she would be happier.  I went through the same heartache and pain as Taite's grandmother and hoped against hope that the soon-to-be-mother would change her mind and begin a new lifestyle.

A good book is like a dear friend.  One of my burning passions is that of reading.  I cannot tell you how much joy reading brings to my soul!  When I read a well-written piece, I completely lose myself in the story, getting caught up in the middle of whatever strife occurs.  While reading, my emotions often mirror those portrayed in the tale.  I sometimes wonder what would happen if I wore a mood ring while reading and how often it would change colors...  :)

I am appalled at how little modern day America picks up a book and reads for pleasure instead of for school.  If you were to walk into Walmart and ask the first person you saw what they enjoy doing in their free time, the answer would most likely be a mumbled phrase about playing World of War Craft, Halo, or something to that pitiful effect.

I used to read all the all the time, but now I find little room in my day for anything other than work.  I have decided to put a stop to that and take advantage of my school-free semester.  I'm going to begin to read with as much gusto and passion as I once had. 

Join me!  I think you'll find many good friends just sitting on the shelf, waiting to be discovered!

Guacamole Queen

I was rather hard pressed for hours at work this week, being scheduled for only 18.5 hours.  Now, for a gal who took the semester off in order to work hard and save up for the rest of her college career, this just wasn't going to fly.  The Lord saw my plight, so by His good grace I shall hit the 40 hour mark tomorrow afternoon!

I am foot-weary and tired, but oh so thankful for the work.  Sometimes, you just have to look a little harder for the hours you need!  I was able to pick up a shift on Tuesday, and was able to spend several hours in the produce department selling guacamole.  Yes, my dear friends, I wear my hair net proudly as I hand out samples and ladel pound upon pound of the green goodness into tubs to sell.  As soon as I finish up my shift on the register, I head over to produce, don my hair net, wheel out my little cart, and get ready for another couple of hours at work.  I. Love. It.  It's actually been my favorite part of the day!  :)

Thanks to the extra hours spent in produce, I was able to get full-time hours with my part-time job.

Yes, I will get to college one $5.99 tub of guacamole at a time!

Confused Much?

Yes.  I am still in Central Texas.  Yes.  This means that I have not moved away to Dallas.  Yes.  I am delaying the start of my college sophomore year.  Yes.  I am returning to school in the spring.

It's going to be odd, this fall semester.  It will be the first fall semester I've had since the age of 3 where I will not be doing school of some sort.  Yes, if you're counting, that was 14 years ago.  o.0

Instead, I will be spending my time working.  My parents and I decided that the wisest course of action to take is to make my bank account happier before leaving.  =)

I have mixed feelings about this.  Once I finally made the decision to stay for another semester, I felt an instant sense of relief!  This gives me more time to save up, buy some of the things I will be needing for the apartment, and prepare my mind to leave home for the first time in my life.  I'm also glad that I'll get to spend more precious time with my dear, dear family whom I will miss terribly!

On the other hand, I will have to work full time.  This means punching in PLU codes right and left, smiling at the customer and saying, "please push 'yes.'  It's asking you if the amount is okay, not if you want cash back."  It means selling camel menthol light 100's and marlboro special blends.  It means running gallons of milk back to dairy to exchange the 2% for the whole milk.  It means pushing carts in the parking lot until I don't believe it possible to sweat any harder.  It means getting a manager override every time some lady comes in with 100 coupons.  It means asking the questions, "how are y'all today," and "did you find everything alright?" a million times in one hour.  It means staying calm when a customer is flying off the handle because the sign next to the cabbage said "2 for $1" and it's ringing up incorrectly (even though we sell those by weight and not quantity).

I love my job, but full time is pushing it a bit ...  without God's grace, that is.  God really convicted me today in the way I view people in general, which was good, because without that conviction I think my job would be way too draining for me.

Nonetheless, I am very glad that I'll be at home for another couple of months.  God has been so gracious to get me thus far, and I know that He will lead me faithfully onward towards His goals for my life.  God is just so amazing, y'all!  I'm overwhelmed with the knowledge that He loves me with His perfect love, giving me this extra time with my family.  How can you keep yourself from loving Someone who loves you so dearly?

Anyway, that's sort of what's going on in my life of late.  The plans have changed drastically since I wrote last.  I'll definitely keep everyone up to date as to how everything goes this fall.

Until next time, soli deo gloria!

Exciting Times

NOTE:  This is sort of a repost of yesterday, but with slightly different content.  Blogger was being dumb and wouldn't let me edit.  Actually, in order for me to not have to say all the same things as I said as yesterday, this might have completely different content altogether.  With that being said, read on. :) 

Criswell.  A tiny, two-building campus in the heart of downtown Dallas.  This is the 400-student Bible college that I am trying desperately to get into for this coming fall semester.

When my older brother applied at LeTourneau University a month before classes were to start, I vowed to myself and my parents that I would never send them into that sort of mad scramble!  But seeing as I was going to live at home while attending college, I didn't think this would be that big of a deal.

Fast forward to Thursday.

My parents and I visited Criswell.  We had the best tour of the tiny campus!  We learned all about why it was founded, their core values, what classes and professors were like, etc.  Strangely enough, as my dad will tell you, the final detail that made the decision for me was the living quarters.  The college is now holding apartments only a few blocks away from campus for the students.  It would be 4 students to each 2 bedroom apartment, complete with a living room, dining room, kitchen, and 2 full bathrooms.  No dorms for me!  I loved that it would have a "home" feel to it ... especially since one of my biggest concerns was moving away from home.

Yesterday, I spent my time filling out the application, writing the admissions essay, getting forms filled out
by other people, running to the bank, etc.  It was a long day, but fulfilling.

I'm excited!  I can't wait to study with professors who graduated from Yale and Harvard!  I'm excited about having to filter everything -- WITH MY CLASSMATES -- through a Biblical worldview and through careful scrutiny.  This is definitely a step up from the community college of my freshman year.  I'm excited to get to spend time with a college filled with people who are serious about their faith and are serious about their lives.  This is almost too good to be true!

Just like any adventure or change I've undergone in the past, this one is not without fear.  I'm nervous about not knowing anyone there.  I'm nervous about my roommates ...will we get along?  I'm nervous about my classes ... will they be too rigorous?

But through it all, God will be faithful.

And it's not quite a done deal yet.  There are still some things to work out (like financial aid), but if this is where God wants me to be, then everything will fall into place.  I'm going to move forward as if this is His plan for my life, and if it's not, then I'm assuming there will be a roadblock.

To God alone be the glory!  Soli Deo Gloria!

--{Christina}--

I had such a blast with Miss Christina today!  Since it has been nearly two months since we've seen each other, we made a special effort to get together this weekend.  I'm so glad it worked out!  We had so much fun talking, eating lunch, talking, window shopping, talking, taking pictures, and oh yeah, talking.

I've known this gorgeous gal for about 6 years now.  We met at my very first cross country practice, and were able to continue our relationship through the NCFCA later on.

One of the things I just love about Christina is her passion for the Lord.  Whenever we get together, we always naturally turn the conversation to the things of God.  It's so awesome to get to spend time with someone who gets excited about Jesus!  Her excitement always rubs off on me!

I love how close we've grown, especially during this past year.  It's so easy to share my heart with this sweet young woman.  She always has a listening ear and is ready to either encourage or offer sage advice for me.  I love her so dearly, and truly cherish the precious moments I get to spend with her!

Voices

"Did you actually pick up those toys, or did you just push them out of the way?"

"Turn the light on, then you'll be able to see the dirt!"

"Take everything off the dresser, then dust."

"If the sponge doesn't work on the faucet, lick your finger and scrub.  It needs to shine!"

I shook my head, laughing inwardly, as I deep cleaned the house this morning.  Isn't it funny how you hear phrases spoken by your parents all during your childhood, and then when you're grown and you know how to do things properly, you replay their warnings and advice over and over again in your head?  Yeah, that's what happened to me today .... AND I HAVEN'T TOUCHED THE VACUUM CLEANER IN 2 YEARS!!!

I just have to laugh when I think about those days!  It really wasn't that bad.  When cleaning the house today, I actually found joy in it all!  I now don't mind vacuuming, scrubbing, and dusting.  It made me feel like I'd done something productive with my day, which brings me to another phrase I heard all of growing up:

"Use your time wisely!"  If there's one thing my parents hate, it's wasting time.  The only time of the day I ever see my mom sit down is during dinner!  The rest of the day she spends cooking, cleaning, teaching, organizing, planning, writing, etc.  My dad is constantly cooking up new ways to advertise and grow his business, as well as working on his website.  He also co-pastors our church, which means he spends a lot of time praying for each of the families, calling up the men of the church, and writing sermons.  Oh, I did mention that he spends time with us each day, right?  My parents are pretty much the hardest workers I know!

Yep, I hear the voices of my parents in the back of my head all. the. time.  And that's good, because not only do I love hearing the sound of their voices, the advice they give me really has made a difference.

On sort of a humorous note, one of the things I constantly hear my dad say is, "that is not a walkway!"  This is always said in reference to the small area between the end table and the couch in the living room that everybody assumes is a short-cut to get to the main room.  I've heard that particular sentence nearly every day for the past 5 years, and to this day, I go around the couch.  ;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLCfb54e_kM&ob=av2e

The Stand

I am nothing, and for that I praise the Lord!  He is so beautiful, strong, pure, merciful, and just!  I'm just beginning to crack the code of who God really is!  When I begin to think on His wonderful, fathomless character, I stand in awe, rendered completely speechless!

So I'll stand, with arms high and heart abandoned
In awe, of the One who gave it all
I'll stand, my soul, Lord, to You surrendered
All I am is Yours
All I am is Yours!

Days 3, 4, and 5

Yes, I'm getting a tad behind in my posting, but I guess it can't be helped!  The events of the past couple of days have kept the three of us busy!

To catch you up, we celebrated the birthday of a very dear friend of mine on Friday.  The evening was filled with gifts, cake, games, and laughter!  It was a bit nostalgic, seeing as I remember when she turned 10!  Man, does time fly, or what???  We've certainly made a lot of fun memories over the years, and I can't tell you how excited I am about all the memories that are yet to be made between us!

Then last evening, we headed over to the W. house where we had fun swimming, eating dinner, and playing games till all hours of the night!  It was a blast!  I can't tell you how nice it was to be able to hang out with a family again!

Lastly, but most certainly not least, we had a lovely lunch with the H. family after church today.  It was wonderful to be able to visit with a family that I have long considered a part of my family.  We pretty much covered all the bases from the sermon this morning to geography!  We had a great time!

We've also been enjoying just hanging around the house this afternoon.  It's so nice to have a consistent day off every week, and I didn't realize how much I depended on that until these past couple of weeks.  I love Sundays!  It's the one day of the week where I can justify doing absolutely nothing!  :P

Well, I'm going to go finish enjoying this beautiful day!  Have a wonderful evening!

Day 2: Of Shrimp Scampi and Other Things

Yesterday marked day 2 of being left behind.  Yes, the house is still silent as the grave, and no, we have not gotten used to it yet.  However, we are ignoring the said silence and beginning to look for things to entertain ourselves.

I have taken over the job of cooking whilst the family is away.  As such is the case, I had a glorious time poking about the grocery store, figuring out what delectable dishes I could make.  Last night's menu consisted of shrimp scampi, made with white wine, butter, garlic, heavy cream, and oregano, along with a caesar salad.  I think it was a success, seeing as the guys and myself kept going back for more!  :)

Then, later on, we headed down to Zilker to watch "Footloose" with some friends.  We came in during the middle of it, seeing as Zach had to work late, but it was really easy to pick up on what was going on.  We met up with some friends there and had a jolly time jawing afterwards.  Methinks an early morning trip to Barton Springs is in the plans somewhere in the future.  ;)

And so, our day began and finished fairly uneventfully.

NOTE:  I really need to start these blog posts on the actual day, but when I try to do so, I find I'm much too tired to sit here typing away and would much rather be curled up in my bed.  Ah well.  Here's to trying!  :)

Day 1: Left Behind

Yesterday I stood in the driveway, watching as my van vanished around the corner.  My entire family, save myself and two of my brothers, drove away to visit extended family in various parts of the country.  It felt unfair to be left behind, but I knew that I couldn't justify asking off of work for another couple of weeks so soon after already having substantial time off.

It was so strange yesterday, what with the house being so quiet and all.  There was no pitter-patter of little feet running about the place, and no squeals of laughter filling the house with life.  The house was deathly still.  I realized something that morning.  Houses don't automatically become homes just because that's where you lay your head at night when you go to sleep.  No, a house becomes a home when life is present there.  Laughter, tears, joy, pain, conversation, arguing, joking ... all of this I was missing yesterday.

It was so strange to be left in silence yesterday morning.  Zach left for work first thing, Luke was asleep, and I was left to my own devices.  It was then, in the ear-splitting silence, that I realized just how long these next couple of weeks are going to be.

I woke Luke up, needing someone to interact with, and we went to the bank, Ikea, then finally the Arboretum.    I just love hanging out with my brothers, but it's hard to find a time when all three of us are off of work with no other plans for the day.  Luke and I got to enjoy some great time together!  Last night, when we were all back from work and class, we hung out ... just like normal.

Yes, if I had to be left behind at some other time, it would have to be with Zach and Luke all over again.  :)

Things are Looking Up

I'm feeling a sense of peace.  Yes, my life plans for the fall are still very much undecided, up in the air, and altogether nonexistent, but I'm learning to let go of my "must be in control" tendencies and leave it up to God.  I've come to the realization, after much frustration and crying out to God, my worrying simply won't supply a solution to my problem.  The only solution to this dilemma rests securely in the hands of my very capable God.

There were several times this past week that I've been driven to my knees, my heart so full that it overflowed, leaving my eyes red-rimmed and aching.  I honestly felt like my soul was slowly being torn to shreds, and I had no idea how to heal the aching in my heart.  I know that God used -- and is still using -- this whole experience to draw me ever closer to Him.

I'm not going to lie.  I have my moments of doubt and worry that I'll be doing nothing but sitting on my duff, watching the clouds roll by and life going on without me.  I don't want to be left in the dust!  But then I am called back to Jeremiah 29:11:

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

This is a verse that I have to cling to with all my strength, but God is faithful!  He has a plan for my fall, waiting in great anticipation to reveal it to me.  I'm excited because all my plans pale in comparison to His perfect and meticulous plan!  GOD IS SO GOOD!!!  I will delight in Him, and I will worship Him!  No trial can ever take my Him away!

Praise the Lord, oh my soul!  Praise the LORD!!!!

My Family

Yep, I pretty much love 'em!  =)

Living Differently

I inwardly sighed as the customer watched the screen intently, pointing excitedly at the price of Texas peaches, telling me that they rang up incorrectly yet again.  "Remember," she said with a sickeningly sweet smile.  "This happened last time too!  They're 50 cents a pound, not a dollar."  I changed the price for her, annoyed, but trying not to show it.  I wanted to scream since this same customer had made my IPM's (items per minute [scanned]) drop by 1.5 points earlier that same day.  I was doing my very best to get her out the door, and she just wasn't cooperating!!!

Unfortunately, this is a story that has played itself out time and time again.   Every time a customer wants to argue prices or has to have their groceries packed in such and such a way, I plaster a big 'ole smile on my face, say "Yes ma'am," grit my teeth (to keep my thoughts from taking on words), and get the job done.   Yeah, customers are that frustrating at times.

But then it hit me.  I thought about salvation.  Jesus says, "I am the way, the truth, and the life.  No one goes to the Father except through Me (John 14:6)."  And I thought about how it is only by God's grace that I will gain life eternal.  So, if it is by Christ alone that I get to heaven, then there is nothing that I can do to get me there.  If there is nothing that I can do to get me there, then I have to rely fully upon Jesus.

If I am nothing, then I should live like it. 

One thing I have struggled with in the past is the idea of rights.  Rights are those things that we think we're all entitled to, and heaven help the poor suckers who try to take them away or act like we're nothing ... like customers.  As a Christian, I am to live a selfless life, one lacking in rights, and overflowing with servitude coupled with love.  If Christ Himself became nothing for my sake, then is it right for me to ask for more for my view of my own life?

Living differently from the world means realizing that I am nothing without Christ, and that Christ defines who I am!  Living differently requires me to live like I am nothing, keeping my expectations of  being treated well at a bare minimum.  It's hard, but it's in my weaknesses that Christ is shown strong!

All I want is to live a life that honors Christ.

Mulling Over Life

It's kind of funny.  When I was away at Worldview Academy, I had purpose for my life.  I had a sense of direction and fulfillment that was lacking before I went.  For three weeks, I knew precisely what I was supposed to be doing!

And then I came home.

Yes, life has been strange, to say the least.

One thing is certain, since being home, my faith in the Lord has been strengthened!  My prayer life has become more meaningful, and my time in the Word is definitely more fruitful.  Scripture memorization is something I've added to my quiet times, which is awesome because in order for the Lord to bring Scriptures to mind, it has to have had gone in first.  He is faithful, my friends, so let's strive to be faithful to Him!

Yes, I'm still floundering as to what He would have me do in the fall (be it school or something else entirely), and it's frustrating to know that He works -- in my mind, at least -- in a very last-minute fashion.  I know He does this to force me to trust His planning and timing, but it doesn't remove the fact that it's still challenging.  I know He has a plan for my life, yea even for the fall, but as of yet, He's left me in the dark about it.

So what am I doing with my time right now?  I'm reading more, working, and pressing in on my relationships.  I've spent a lot of time sharing with my parents my concerns and hopes for my life.  I've spent a lot of time thinking about life.  I've spent a lot of time praying about life.  Like I said, God has a plan, He just hasn't filled me in yet.  Even so, I continue to pour out my heart to Him, knowing that my life is in good hands.

If anybody needs anything to pray about, I'm asking for your prayers!  Please pray that I would find solace in the knowledge that my life is in God's hands, and that He would reveal His plan to me at exactly the right moment.

God is SO good, and in that I can rest.  :)

It Died

Today is a dark day in the life of Alex's treasured-but-cheap mp3 player.  Yes, today is the day that you will all remember as the day that Alex's mp3 player met its tragic death in the bowl of a toilet.  R.I.P. little mp3 player.  We shall never meet again.  The end.

A Happy Heart

I remember standing in the shower one morning in May thinking, "What am I doing?  I'm about to go out on my own for a few weeks, meet up with total strangers .... to do what???"  Three weeks later, those complete strangers had become some of my best friends.

I returned home on Friday from a month spent away with Worldview Academy.  If I could describe my experience in one word, it would be awesome -- in every sense of the word.  It was awesome to see God work!  It was awesome to get to spend time with my students.  It was awesome to watch my team bond so quickly (day 3 of staff training).  It was awesome to get to talk with much deeper thinkers than I could ever hope to be.  It was awesome to give of myself so much and so often that I had no choice but to let God take over.

I could go on and on and tell stories about how we found a turtle on the side of the road and dropped it into Cara's lap, or about spending a day at the lake and playing a quick game of ultimate on the beach.  I could talk about Leah trying to doctor up David's leg late one night while the rest of us laughed until our sides hurt!  I could enlighten you about races with my students.  I could write about one of my girls accepting Christ!  I could tell of the great discussions we got into as we traveled from Oklahoma to Texas.

But I'll save those for later.

My heart is so full right now!  I've had the best three weeks of my life!  I went from not knowing a soul on campus to loving each one of those souls deeply.  God truly blessed me by allowing me to get to know each of them.  Yes, I'm in the grieving process as I learn to let go again (seems to be a common theme in my life), but you know what?  I wouldn't trade those weeks for the world!  Where else are you going to find 20+ people sold out for Christ and who have a willingness to share that passion with others?  Sometimes I wish I didn't have a heart.  ;)

I'm struggling with being home right now, because my heart has yet to find its way back.  It's currently in Mississippi with my Worldview Academy family.  However, I know that God has a plan for the rest of my summer, I just have to keep pressing into Him while I wait for that purpose.  He is so good!  I am so thankful for the time He gave me with those amazing people!  Like I said earlier, I wouldn't trade my experience for the world!  Praise God, for His mercies are new every morning!

Soli Deo Gloria!

A Grand Adventure

It's never been far from my mind as I've gone about my life during these past couple of weeks.  School took up a lot of time, but I always managed to keep track of how many days I had left until it happened.  I've been utterly filled with excitement as my new volunteer work looms ever nearer.  I fully expect to give it my all, throwing myself into these next couple of weeks with a passion like no other!  Yes, very soon, I will head to the airport and take off for staff training for Worldview Academy.

As the time for departure draws steadily nearer, I am finding very little time to reflect.  I am growing ever closer to God (especially with my marathon Bible reading plan [you should try it sometime ;) ]), and I cannot wait to see the iron sharpen iron next week with my fellow staffers!

This past week, I have been so blessed to get to take part in last-minute coffee dates, movie nights, and surprise drop-ins.  It's so funny how when friends call me up to see if we can hang out, my first response is always: With what time???  Which immediately turns into: I'll make it work!  I'm going to fit you in somehow!!!  The past two weeks have been hectic, to say the least, but also have been great fun!

When I got the call back in April asking me to staff at an extra camp, I thought the day would never come fast enough!  I really can't believe it's almost here!  I've been trying to spend more time with my family during this past week, seeing that I won't get the chance to hug them, play with them, or really talk with them until mid-June.  No, I haven't had as much time with them as I would have liked, but I don't regret a moment of these past couple of weeks!  They're all so very precious to me!

And now I get to my goals for these next couple of weeks.  I simply cannot wait to see how much God grows my faith as I step out of my comfort zone to try my hand at something new.  I can't wait to get to know my small groups and really pour into their lives.  I'm thrilled to get the chance to staff with the one team I have not heard, thus meaning I'll be learning right alongside my girls.  Yes, God is so good!  I pray that I will come back refreshed in the faith and ready for whatever is next on my plate.

So, until I get back, God bless, and soli deo gloria!

Everybody Loves Bill

Luke and I huddled around the computer screen to watch this comedy routine by Bill Cosby last night. We pretty much LOVED it. And, because everybody loves Bill, I thought I'd post it here. =D

Well Hi!!!

Haha!  Wow!  It has been a long time since I've thought of anything blog posty-ish.  No, nothing thought-provoking has been on my radar of late, mainly because since finishing school last week (woot!), I've been caught up in a whirlwind of high school graduations, work, and trying to get back to a normal life.  Ah well, life is good.

Ok, so, you know how I've changed my college major three times and still have not entirely settled as to what I want to do?  Yeah.  In the midst of the greatest ambiance in the world (a.k.a. Barnes and Noble), Mom and I discussed my life over a glorious cup of coffee.  It wasn't until last night that I realized why I flit back and forth between the things I supposedly want to do and then change my mind so quickly.  It was so obvious that I missed it until last night!  I have no vision for my life's story.  That's it!  I have no idea where my life is going to go in the next couple of years (hopefully it'll go somewhere).

Let me just pause here and say that my mom is the only person I know who can get me to cry in public.

Okay, back to my story.  So I was sitting there, in the middle of Barnes and Noble with a mocha latte on the table in front of me, trying not to make a sopping wet mess of the world and all its inhabitants as my mom and I FINALLY realized what's been wrong with me!  I won't deny it:  this thought had me depressed for a short while.

But with my depressing realization also came hope.  I know that God has a plan for my life!  And you know what?  I'm super excited about what He has in store for me!  His plans for my life are far beyond anything I can comprehend, and it gives me something specific to pray for.  I just know He will reveal Himself to me, and that He has a specific kind of work set aside for me to do.  I don't know what it is yet, but I can't wait to discover it!

Unique Friendships

Yes, sibling friendships suddenly became very important to me.  I have a completely different relationship with each one of my siblings.  With Zach, I share serious conversations, a few inside jokes, and ultimately, I share my heart.  He's like my sounding board, seeing things that I don't.  I have great respect for him because he always roots his decisions and principles in Scripture.  Everything is black-and-white to him, and he will not act outside of what his conscience dictates.

Then there's my friendship with Luke.  Perhaps I should have mentioned in the below post that wherever Zach and I were, Luke was never far behind.  The three of us were thick as thieves, and when Zach went away, Luke and I got even closer!

Luke is the brother with whom I stay up late into the night.  We watch Foyle's War together, share MANY, many, many inside jokes,  and just all around enjoy hanging out together.  Luke is my best bud!  There was one evening a few weeks back when he spent the night at a friend's house.  After all the little people went to bed, it was just me and my parents.  Around 11 O'clock, both Mom and Dad decided they were going to go to bed.  I couldn't believe it!  Luke and I often stay up way past 2 a.m.!  What was I going to do for 3 hours by myself???  Yes, without Luke, I often feel bored and lost.  =)

There's a uniqueness found in sibling friendships.  They've seen you at your absolute best, and they've certainly seen you at your rock-bottom worst.  They offer a unique perspective on your life, knowing everything about you, yet loving you anyway.

My family has been fortunate enough to be closely knit.  We can joke and tease each other, but heaven help the outsider who tries to do the same!  We're each other's most powerful protectors.  We offer the best advice (though often without being asked, *heh heh*).

We. Are. Best. Friends.

Praise God!  I have been so blessed to have been placed in the Adams Family.  I love every single member with all my heart, and I wouldn't trade a single one for anything in the world.  They're my family, and by them I will stand.

My Heart Will Go On

His arms reaching out to be held, Josiah simply couldn't stop smiling and laughing as Zach scooped him up!  For a few precious moments, Zach held Josiah close in a sweet embrace.

This tender scene played out in my home when Zach finally made it home for the summer months.  He'd been away for roughly 9 months studying at LeTourneau University, and everybody was ready for an extended visit.

Watching Zachary leave for college was a hard thing for me to walk through.  To me, it felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest with no hope of  restoration.  I was saying goodbye to life as I knew it, and it was the most painful experience I'd ever endured.  

Zach was my playmate, the one with which I had spent many long years building up memories.  We did everything together!  We chased ducklings around our backyard, "traveled" thousands of miles in the campers we built on our bunk beds, stayed up late listening to music, had movie marathons, ran cross country, discussed history and philosophy, took care of younger siblings, etc., etc., etc.  If one of us was in the middle of something, chances were very good the other was right there in the thick of it too!

I remember the week Mom, Dad, and I moved him into his dorm.  We went up for two days, and I thought it would give me some transition time so that saying goodbye wouldn't be nearly so difficult.  

I was wrong.  

I was fine the entire first day and  a half, but the last half of the second day was brutal.

As I watched Mom and Dad each gave Zach a hug goodbye in their turn, my emotions began to rise.  

Then it was my turn.  

I embraced him, and he, me.  As I clung to him on that hot August evening, I realized that it was to be the last I was to see of him until Thanksgiving.  All our lives, we had never spent more than a week apart from each other's company.  I could hold back the tears no longer!  Out they came, streaming down my face as I choked out a feeble "I love you" and turned away.  I walked as quickly to the car as possible without looking back.  

I couldn't bear to look back and watch him shrink away in the distance. It was like if I let myself watch him grow smaller and smaller behind me, I would see with my own eyes my life slip away!  I just couldn't do it.  Instead, I spent the entire 5 hour car ride home in silence, grateful for the dark of night that covered any outward signs of grief.  I felt like I had been shot through the heart.  Honestly, though it's absurd to think of now, I thought I had lost him for forever.

But you know what?  Throughout that first semester, we became closer than ever.  God strengthened our relationship in a way that never would have happened if he had stayed at home with me and my family.  It wasn't until this past year, in fact, that I realized how important sibling friendships truly are.

Why?

{photo credit}

I'm in a contemplative mood.  Maybe it has something to do with the music I'm listening to ("Completely" by Ana Laura), or maybe it has to do with just wanting to think.  Whatever the reasoning behind it all, the result is this post.

Why?  Why was it so easy to believe when we were little?

Why?  Why was it so easy to recall our favorite Bible stories every day when we were little, but now find it hard to remember even a single verse in the midst of our busy lives?

Why?  Why did God seem so much closer to our hearts and minds before we "grew up"?

Why?  Why was it that I prayed nearly without ceasing when I was 8, but now find it hard to find the words to say?

Why?  Why did I allow God to be so involved in every sector of my life without even thinking, and now I have to work at making Him a part of everything?

Why, why, why???

Matthew 18:2-4 says, "And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, 'Truly I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.  Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.'"  (ESV)

In my ESV study Bible, the notes on these verses say "The humility of a child consists of childlike trust, vulnerability, and the inability to advance his or her own cause apart from the help, direction, and resources of a parent."

What am I saying?  That we should swim against the current of our culture?  Without a doubt YES!

In modern America there is an urgency to grow up, move out once 18, and learn how to become as independent as possible.  We don't want to feel like we need somebody else.  The divorce rate is enough to prove that!  Sure I'll marry you, but only so long as you fulfill my lustful needs.  Once I tire of you I'm going to terminate our relationship and move on to the next person.  I don't need a "life partner" because the word "partner" implies that I would need someone's help for survival. I view that as a weakness.


You get the picture.

When we grow up, we suddenly have only one need:  to be completely independent of others.

Yet God is calling us to so much more than that!  If we are dependent upon Him, then everything will get taken care of.  If our only thought is for Him, then our lives can be nothing but complete and utter bliss!  We'll soon forget that we thought we had the power to take matters into our own hands and will rest securely in the knowledge that He will take care of everything.

Hmmm, it brings new meaning to the verse that says "Be still and know that I am God (Psalm 36:10)," and also Psalm 23:2 where it says, "He makes me lie down in green pastures.  He leads me beside still waters."

I pray that I am able to return to my childlike faith, for it is when I humble myself that God shows Himself to be strong!  Amen and amen.

Walking

Did you know that in 30 minutes worth of power walking, people with my body weight burn 190 calories?

Did you know that in 30 minutes worth of walking, I have gone a distance of about 1.5 miles?

Now, I'm used to higher impact sports.  Volleyball and running were how I spent my high school years.  And I got quite a workout, let me tell you (especially since those two seasons coincided with each other)!  I remember climbing into the car after volleyball practice absolutely drenched in sweat!  There wasn't a thing on me that was dry!  My T-shirt was soaked, my arms were soaked, and I finally gave up on wiping my chin with the back of my hand because my hand was soon soaked.

I don't know why, but I've always loved working out.  I love how it burns while I do it, and for some reason that pain and exhaustion translates into "YES!  Power!!  I'm doing something awesome right now, even though it really hurts!"

Since graduation I've stopped nearly all workouts.  And you know what?  I miss it terribly!  So, this evening I laced up my shoes and went for a power walk with some of the ladies I work with.  I absolutely love their company, and I love the fact that we're doing something good for ourselves.  We found the most beautiful little trail back behind a neighborhood that's SUPER close to where I live.  I'm already envisioning long walks back and forth across that trail with my sister.

Interestingly enough, these new workouts have encouraged me to persevere.  Isn't it interesting how when we're in pain, we suddenly "remember" God and turn to Him for help?  Isn't it interesting how when we are stuck on an incline we feel like giving up and turning right around again?  But it's in the pain that God shines the brightest.  It's when we can't feel our legs anymore that we know without a doubt that it was God and God alone who brought us through.  It was His power, and they were His feet we used to climb to the top.

Yes, I'm enjoying my walking.  :)

~Moi~

Hello everyone!  I have had requests from several friends to a) write a new post, and b) give a quick update on life as it stands today.  So, without further ado, ze post:

Life this past week has been wildly crazy, to say the least.  School has become a stressful mess.  I know several of you have heard me say that this has just really NOT been my semester, and while I would love to change that statement .... I really can't.  It's been insanely tough!  But then, that's just the way school goes sometimes.  Thank God last semester went well, otherwise I don't think I would have registered for more classes this spring.  But through it all, He has been faithful.

Also on the subject of school, I'm leaning heavily towards attending Howard Payne University in the fall.  This will mean lots and lots and lots of scholarship searching as well as working my tail off over the summer in order to cover expenses, but overall it excites me.  It excites me that I might possibly have found a great college!  It excites me that I could have the chance to really try my hand and succeed!  It excites me to try something new and different!  Yes, I'm excited.  :D


Side note: It appears that Adams kids like to transfer into 4-year colleges for their sophomore year, and it seems like they enjoy picking expensive private schools instead of regular state schools, and it also looks like they gravitate towards institutions that claim the yellow jacket as their mascot.  Huh!  Who knew?  ;)

Aaaaaanyway!  Something that's kind of remotely interesting about life is that tomorrow evening Luke and I will be volunteering at the THSC gala and awards banquet!  I'm very excited about this!  Over the past two months, we've joined friends in packing folders with many, many papers for Capitol Days.  As a sort of "thank you", our friend Paul Hastings invited us to volunteer at the gala ... in which case we'd get free tickets to enjoy the event.  It's going to be a lot of fun (and I'll have you know that it took me two days of shopping to get an outfit together)!

So, God bless, and I hope to hear from everyone else soon!

Lord Have Mercy

Jesus, I have forgotten the words you have spoken
Promises that burned within my heart have now grown dim
With a doubting heart I follow the paths of earthly wisdom
Forgive me for my unbelief
Renew the fire again

Lord have mercy
Christ have mercy
Lord have mercy on me

I have built an altar where I worship things of men
I have taken journeys that have drawn me far from you
Now I am returning to Your mercies ever flowing
Pardon my transgressions
Help me love You again

Lord have mercy
Christ have mercy
Lord have mercy on me

I have longed to know You and Your tender mercies
Like a river of forgiveness ever flowing without end
I bow my heart before You in the goodness of Your presence
Your grace forever shining
Like a beacon in the night

Lord have mercy
Christ have mercy
Lord have mercy on me

~ Michael W. Smith

Well Done

{Photo Credit}

I've watched time and time again as a small child learns to pull himself up to a standing position.  Challenges present themselves at every turn, the first being learning how to stand without outside support.  Before he knows it, motility is discovered.

One of the things I've really been pondering is the importance of making your faith your own.  Know what you believe and be willing to fight for those beliefs.  They are your life, your support system, and without them, you will fall.

As children, we are brought up on our parents' beliefs as they seek to raise up godly children.  They instill the beliefs in us that they think are important.  They teach them right from wrong with foundational beliefs.  Unfortunately many people stop at the foundation level thinking they've got everything they need to succeed.  What they don't realize is that they were given merely a foundation on which they are supposed to build.  

Proverbs 6:6-9, "Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways and be wise.  Without having any chief, officer, or ruler, she prepares her bread in summer and gathers her food in harvest.  How long will you lie there, O sluggard?  When will you arise from your sleep?"

I'm taking a biology class right now that is focused on plant and animal life.  An animal's whole purpose in life is survival.  They hunt to survive, reproduce to have a surviving generation, etc., etc., etc.  Living by evading predators and passing on their genes to the next generation is their only care.

The ant has no parent ensuring that she is continuing to build on what she already has, she instinctively knows to do so.  She does not need to be told twice to work hard.  She understands that if she does not gather food and store up for the winter she will not survive to see the spring.

Just like the ant, we as Christians are called to own our faith.  We are to build upon the foundation that our parents provided for us and continue to grow.  Maybe that includes replacing an old brick for a new one, or maybe that means laying up a store of Scripture behind a principle we were taught and agree with.  The importance of this principle cannot be emphasized enough!  If we do not take our beliefs to heart and take ownership of them, we will not survive the winters that come our way.  It's the work of a lifetime, and one that we are called to do wholeheartedly.

If done well, you will be able to step back and admire your own beautiful home.  It will be standing in a neighborhood not made of cookie cutter houses, but one in which each structure has its own personality.  Learn from the beliefs of your parents, but don't be afraid to search the Scriptures and stand firm in your own beliefs and convictions.  You act based on your personal beliefs so know what it is that makes you act.

It will take blood, sweat, and tears if done properly, but it will all be worth it when you gaze into the eyes of Jesus on Judgement Day and hear his voice as He says, "Well done, good and faithful servant.  You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much.  Enter into the joy of your Master." ~ Matthew 25:21

My Cup Overfloweth

I am so filled with happiness right now!  I've had chats that lasted long into the night, great breakfasts at magnificent restaurants, happy conversations, etc., etc., etc.  Quite honestly, I have had an amazing time over the past 18 hours!

Isn't it amazing who God decides to place in our lives?  I've made friends over the past 7 months who I can't imagine my life without (y'all know who you are).  Last night I had a great chat with a friend who I've only recently got to know over the past two months.  We pretty much covered all the bases from childhood memories to various plans for the future.  This morning, my brother and I met a friend for breakfast and talked about everything from school to family life.  I have been so blessed to meet and continue to develop those relationships.

It's funny how a year ago the future only looked dark and forbidding.  I knew I wouldn't be alone, but deep down it felt like I would.  I was scared, depressed, and even angry at times.  But God brought me full circle, back to where I could see His protection and provision.  I have been so encouraged and am now excited about what the future holds!

Yes, life is certainly more enjoyable with friends by my side.  :D

What am I supposed to do?

Everyone has a job to do.  Speakers are supposed to remember their lines and try to connect with their judges on a higher level than their fellow competitors.  Debaters are supposed to present their arguments clearly and try to persuade their judge to see their side of things.  So what is the job of a former competitor?

This past weekend I poured over ballots, reading and rereading the comments I had written to each student, trying to justify my choosing this person for first place over that one.  It was an exceedingly difficult task, yet one that I was asked to do.  I hate being nit-picky, yet that is what I had to be in order to make a final decision.

One of the reasons this decision making was so hard was because of my love language:  words of encouragement.  I want everybody to do well in everything.  Ranking people from 1st -8th place was like torture for me!  The thought that my ranking and/or comments might crush someone absolutely mortified me!  Quite honestly, there were several ballots that I didn't want my name written on for all to see.

I remember getting ballots back and seeing only critiques and no encouragement to improve and do better.  These were the ballots that disheartened me.  I often thought that my failure to do well in some of the judges eyes was a character flaw.  I was crushed.  But then I would look at the other two ballots from the same room that would offer critiques, but then would also tell me one thing I did well.  These were the ones where I was encouraged to change some of the things in my speech that didn't work so well, and keep the things that did.

During this tournament I began to realize what my job was as an alumni.  Quite simply, it was to become each student's big sister.  I was to give each competitor something they could work on but also encourage them in their speaking abilities, building them up whenever I could.  Several students knew that I was an alum.  When I knew that one of my judges was an alum, nothing made my day better than knowing that they personally offered me encouragement, wanting me to succeed.

And that's what I want for every single competitor that presented their speech to me, looked me in the eye, and shook my hand as they thanked me for my time.  I want them to succeed!

Maybe I have a different perspective on alumni judging than some, but it's the  judging philosophy that I'm going to stick with.

I love this!

I enjoy reading the brilliant literary works of our founding fathers.  Clever, humorous, and sarcastic, their words have long been imprinted on the minds of Americans.  Their courage in speaking out and telling the world of their personal beliefs is amazing!  If we had not won the Revolutionary War, each and every one of them would have lost their lives.

One of my favorite founding fathers is Benjamin Franklin.  True, he had a less than reputable personal life, but his work for our country was simply astounding!  My new favorite piece of literature was one that he himself wrote called, "Rules By Which a Great Empire May Be Reduced to a Small One".  A long title, to be sure, but one that covers a vast number of topics.  There are old pieces of literature out there where the humor is completely lost on me, due to the fact that it generally has to do with what were then modern customs; things that I know not of! But, in this piece of writing, the sarcasm is quite obvious!  I thoroughly enjoyed it!

Visit this link to read it yourself!  If you love to read or if you love revolutionary war documents, you will LOVE this!