How did we sink so low?

Isaiah 63:17-19

O Lord, why do you make us wander from your ways and harden our heart, so that we fear you not?  Return for the sake of your servants, the tribes of your heritage.  Your holy people held possession for a little while; our adversaries have trampled down your sanctuary.  We have become like those over whom you have never ruled, like those who are not called by your name.

-----

When did we lose sight of Your holiness, Lord?  When did we begin treating You as if You didn't matter, or worse, as if the only reason for Your existence is to give us what we want when in reality, it is the reason of our existence to give You what You deserve?  When did we forget that when we pray, we are talking to the Most High God, the God Almighty, the God of Creation?  How is it even possible?

God, please make us a people that fears You for who You really are, not because of some contrived notion of who we think You are.  You are holy, and who are we to ever forget that?  May we always seek to serve You to the best of our abilities, and not because we happen to feel like it or want to, but because You deserve nothing less.

Teach us how to fear You.  Teach us how to walk with wisdom.  Teach us how to give You Your due reverence.

Amen.

Another Perspective

Social media has suddenly blown up with the hullabaloo that Phil Robertson's remarks made.  I understand there was a ruckus, and I understand that it is, in fact, an issue that America as a nation needs to deal with.  However, have we chosen the right battle?

A few weeks ago, I read the story of how 80 believers in North Korea were rounded up and shot.  Their Bibles were being referred to as "pornography" and anyone in possession of one was to be killed.  Where's the indignation over that?

Yesterday I read an article about how Syrian believers were massacred senselessly.  I read how church services were interrupted with shootings and how the bodies of whole families were found in the bottom of wells.  Where's the heart break over that?

When there are people who are dying because they believe that Yeshua is also haMashiach - that is, Messiah - then the fact that someone was asked to leave a tv show due to a few remarks doesn't quite raise my hackles.  I think there's a lot going on with the whole Duck Dynasty thing, but I also think we need to wake up and realize that there are a lot worse things happening in this world we live in.

Guys, persecution is real and it really effects believers around the world.  America's form of persecution is minor compared to a lot of countries.  But there will be a day when that is not the case.  Yes, there will be a day when it won't matter anymore where you live or which passport you happen to carry.

We are the body of Christ, and right now, the story that lies heaviest on my heart is not the one about a man who made some controversial remarks, but rather is the story of my brothers and sisters getting tortured and killed in Syria.  That is the story that breaks my heart.

  

Church, we need to pray for our persecuted brothers and sisters.  We need to pray that God gives them the boldness they need to stand up for the gospel, the grace to pray for their enemies, and the peace that passes all understanding to guard their hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

That's my prayer, and I hope you'll join me.

P.S.

Here's the link to the Syrian story.  I hope you'll read it and that it will open your eyes to the reality of the persecuted church:  http://voiceofthepersecuted.wordpress.com/2013/11/21/largest-massacre-of-christians-in-syria-ignored/

A Merry Christmas to You

It's that time of year again!  We all know what I mean.  It's the month of Christmas cards, updates on life, hot cocoa and sparkly ornaments hanging on trees in our living rooms.

Well, I won't be home for the family portrait or update this year, so I have decided to officially become a grown up and write my own Christmas letter.  Without further ado, my Very Merry Christmas Letter:

Dear friends and family,

Words cannot describe all the the Lord has seen fit to teach me this year.  How can I even begin to put words to my new experiences or try to accurately depict the joy that has met me?  I'm not sure that I can fully put words to this, but I will try.

Back in May, I finished up my third semester at Criswell College, which, if you count the other miscellaneous college classes I've taken elsewhere, thrusts me halfway through my junior year.  Due to being so very close to finishing up said college career, it was hard to make my next life's decision.  The decision?  Take a year off of school and head to the Middle East for a time.

Why on earth would I do that?  Sometimes I don't even know myself why I do half the things I do.  I do have to say, though, that decision is one of the best things I've ever done.  The Lord has been faithful to teach me more about prayer, what it means to live in a community of believers who all come from different backgrounds, and how it looks to truly be working as if unto the Lord.  That last one has been a lifelong lesson, and one which is finally beginning to sink in.

The most meaningful thing I've learned this year:
It's not necessary to have radical experiences in order to grow a deeper faith.  Sometimes, we really do just need the quiet and faithful leading of the Lord when we simply put one foot in front of the other as we strive to walk in obedience.

My favorite memory:
Walking the streets of New Jerusalem knowing that my baby brother was in the process of being born

The most eye-opening experience of the year:
Working hard to pass HB2, a pro-life bill that would close down most of the abortion clinics in the state of Texas.  To be honest, I think that's the first time I've ever truly felt like I was on the front lines of battle.  Words cannot describe how amazing, exhausting, and rewarding that experience was.  At the end of it, I really just have to give praise to God and proclaim His goodness!

So in a nutshell, I've learned a lot this year and pray that God continues to teach me in the years to come.

Soli Deo Gloria and Merry Christmas,
Alex

Not Adding Up

Expectations are oftentimes so very different from reality, right?

We all have countless expectations that are either attained or not, and then we have to decide what to do with reality.

When I arrived in Israel a month and a half ago, I had all sorts of expectations.  You know how you always hear these stories of people who cross paths with angels or the ones of people who get revelations from the LORD?  I suppose I was expecting some of those things to happen.  If nothing else, I wanted to feel a sense of awe regarding the land because it is the site where Yeshua lived and died and rose again.

I thought I would feel super spiritual when stepping off the plane and walking where Yeshua walked, but I felt just the same as I did at home.  I thought I would have cool encounters with the LORD, but instead, He's teaching me how to better come before His throne in prayer (which is VERY cool).  I thought I'd have radical spiritual growth, instead He has been faithful to lead me beside still waters quietly, yet ever in His presence.

And perhaps that's what I've been needing instead of a loud Hallelujah experience.  Perhaps I've just needed the peaceful, steady hand of my Savior.

Holiday Blues

I don't get homesick.  While I was at school, I'd make it home only about once a semester while a lot of my friends made it home every other weekend.  I kid you not.  It's just that as long as I was busy with school assignments and social engagements, I didn't miss home.

The same thing happened once I got here.  I was instantly thrown into a beautiful schedule filled with lots of things to occupy my time, the result being that homesickness is once again non-existent.

Well...
...it was

Then there was this morning.  We started playing Christmas music as we were cleaning up after breakfast and all of a sudden I had a flash back to driving around looking at Christmas lights with my family.  That's when I realized how many holiday traditions and experiences I wouldn't be having with my family this year.  It will be my first Christmas spent away from home without a single family member present.  Out of nowhere, I got really homesick.

Talk about reality striking.

It's going to be weird.  Really weird.  But I've got several Americans here with me who are also spending their very first Christmas away from home, so I'm in great company.  We're going to have to live it up as much as possible.  Don't get me wrong, I love, love, love my family here, but it won't be the same.

So, here's to making new traditions, incorporating some old ones, and trying to have the jolliest Christmas ever!

The Time of My Life

One foot in front of the other now.  Continue to pace yourself as you go downhill and don't worry about taking the inclines a bit slower.  Breathe.

Last night I had the experience of a lifetime.  I ran a 10K for the very first time.  Now where I come from, there's a 10K every year, but I always manage to miss it.  This time, I had two days heads up and one persistent friend who managed to talk me into going.

Oh, and it was in Jerusalem...

I was a bit nervous when we began the long drive to Jerusalem, and I told myself several times that I wasn't going to run.  Well once my friends signed me up, I had no choice other than to run and enjoy it.

And enjoy it, I did!

It was the very first race I've run where I actually got a second wind (and 10 minutes into the run!) and the very first race where I've been able to pace myself the entire way so that I wasn't dead at the end.  It was also the first time I've ever run 6 miles together.  True story.

How do I begin to describe it?  It was a night run which meant the temperature was delightfully cooler than the middle of the day.  We ran past the Old City (the Jaffa Gate, I believe) cut through a lot of the New Jerusalem as well.  There are a lot of hills in Jerusalem, but they didn't make us run up any super steep inclines.  There were some really loooooooong ones though.  ;)  There were over 3,000 people who ran the race and the whole thing was simply amazing!

During the run, I had to remind myself where I was and what a unique experience it was!  I mean, getting to run through the streets of Jerusalem, the hub of so much activity both now and 2,000 + years ago was such an amazing thing to behold.  I still can't believe that it actually happened!  I'm serious when I say that the 10K has been my favorite Israel experience as of yet.  :)

Here's How it Goes

Dearest Asher,

As I floated in the Dead Sea, I thought of you.  As I drove past the Qumran and Jericho, I thought of you. As I walked the streets of Jerusalem, I thought of you.

The terrible thing about living half a world away from you is that when Mom went into labor in the middle of the night, it was the middle of the day for me and I had to wait all day long as Mom had to wait all night long.  Fitful sleep probably would have been a better way to wait for you, but there it is.  Where was I when you made your appearance?  Eating ice cream in Jerusalem with some friends.

I can't tell you how excited I am that you are here!  I know we can't officially meet for a while, but I'd really love for you to know just how great life can truly be.

The cool thing about you is that you have 10 older siblings who will have your back at all times!  You have two marvelous parents who will teach you all about Jesus and everything you'll need to know about life.  Yes, you'll get into mischief and need correction and discipline just like the rest of us, but know that Mom and Dad do it because they love you too much to let your bad habits slide.

The neat thing about Dad?  He's a wonderful encourager!  He's great at keeping an eye out for what you're good at and then helping you develop that skill.  Just a forewarning, though, when he says something like, "it won't take that long," what he really means is that it'll take about 2 hours longer than you thought it would take.  I just thought you'd need to know that since the rest of us have fallen into that trap more than once.  ;)  The other thing is that Dad has the best sense of humor of anyone that I know!

And then there's Mom.  Mom is fantastic because she teaches you all these cool things about history and literature and life.  Here's a heads up for her, though.  If you even mention the democratic party, you'll get an eye roll as she says, "pfff" (which is her sound of disdain) and a long rant about how evil they are (and she's right, by the way).  Just be ready for the rant, is all.  Also, you may want to avoid mentioning any heretical "theological" topics of discussion as you'll get a long rant there too.  :D  Mom is a fantastic cook, so if you're looking to ever go on a diet, home is not the place to do it.

Just so you know, being a part of the Adams family means you work before you eat, you play hard, you laugh hard, you make lots of memories, and you pursue the LORD with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength.  Life isn't always easy, but trust me on this, it's so much better with this family of ours by your side.

I've been thinking about a Scripture to share with you, and I just can't get my mind off of wisdom.  So for you, dear Asher, I want to share Proverbs 8: 12-21.  Have Dad read you that passage.  In this letter, however, I'm going to share just verse 17 (keep in mind that wisdom is speaking here) where it says, "I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me."  Be diligent, Asher, in seeking out wisdom.  Fear the LORD and hate evil.

Now, if you really want to hear all the words I have for you, have Mom look up the song "Words I Would Say" by Sidewalk Prophets and you'll have a good idea of what's on my heart.

I love you and cannot wait to meet you!
Happy Birthday,
Adess

Field Research

Field research is what one team member called my stay in Galilee.  That's what happens when you major in biblical studies and decide to take at least a year off of school to go to the Holy Land!

I'm so thrilled to be here!  God has given me the opportunity to meet so many new and amazing people each and every day!  The staff (who come from all over the world) have quickly become family to me.  Each member has their own unique story to tell and contributes something to this place that no one else can.  It's an amazing thing to be a part of!

As far as adventures go, I finally got to sail the Sea of Galilee today!  The water was a beautiful turquoise (I've heard this isn't always the case) and when I closed my eyes, I could imagine Yeshua sailing the very same body of water 2,000 years ago and calming the wind that whipped at my face and hair.  From my vantage point today, I could see Tiberius, the Mount of the Beatitudes, and Capernaum.  Crazy!

My friend Sasha and I on the boat (it was SUPER windy)

I can't wait to see what else God has in store for me on this trip of mine!  He is so good, and I have LOVED getting to know believers from all over the world in such a short time.  I cross the path of new people every single day.  It's been amazing!

I've been keeping a travel log, actually, of the new experiences that each day holds and of the high points.  We'll see how long I'll be diligent in filling it out, but so far it's been a fun thing to do at the end of each day.  :)

And Here We Are

Shalom!  We arrived in Israel yesterday afternoon!  The first flight wasn't bad at all.  It was roughly 9.5 hours from Houston to Paris, then we had two hours before our 4 hour flight to Tel Aviv.  I have to say, when we got on the second flight, I just wanted to get there!  It was a bit cramped, but I ended up sleeping for about 3 hours.

Today, I woke up to the most beautiful view of the Sea of Galilee!  No joke.  The sun was just rising and it was gorgeous!  Want to see?

Yes, this is the actual view from my window!  That's the Sea, and then behind it are what I believe to be the Golan Heights, but I have to get that confirmed.  I don't know if I'll ever get used to waking up to such a sight!  I'll let you know at the end of all this.  ;)

Anyway, I'm still a bit jet-lagged, so methinks it's about nap time for me.

The Final Countdown!

Well.  Here we are 4 days out from lift off and my suitcase is mostly packed.

It's hard to believe that we're finally here, seeing that I've been planning this trip since March!  I was telling my mom this evening that my mind still hasn't fully wrapped around the fact that it's actually happening... and in just a few days!

I know I've talked about it, sharing my plans with just about everyone who has asked, saying basically the same thing hundreds and hundreds of time, and quite frankly, I'm tired of talking.  I want to GO!

I can't wait to complete the packing process, finish saying goodbye, and board that plane that will take me half a world away!  I'm super excited about the things that I will learn while I'm gone, the experience of a new culture, and the opportunity to have a real adventure for once!

And so, here we are 4 days from lift off, and I'm ready to GO!

Balm to my Soul

O LORD, how many are my foes!
Many are rising against me;
many are saying of my soul,
there is no salvation for him in God.  Selah

But you, O LORD, are a shield about me,
my glory, and the lifter of my head.
I cried aloud to the LORD,
and he answered me from his holy hill.  Selah

I lay down and slept;
I woke again for the LORD sustained me.
I will not be afraid of many thousands of people
who have set themselves against me all around.

Arise, O LORD!
Save me, O my God!
For you strike all my enemies on the cheek;
you break the teeth of the wicked.

Salvation belongs to the LORD;
your blessing be on your people!  Selah

Psalm 3

Redemption

I've made mistakes.  I've let my hope fail.  My soul feels crushed by the weight of this world.

I haven't told this to many people, but my life now is in a constant state of pain.

I often wake up in the mornings and hobble to the bathroom on swollen feet with ankles that refuse to work properly.  My wrists suffer from carpal tunnel, making it painful to move them in the way they were created to do.  My knees get stiff easily, and I often come home from work and stump my way up the stairs as the muscles in my legs just don't feel quite right. 

More than that, though, I've been experiencing spiritual pain.  The pain that comes from knowing that I have failed, hurt, and miserably messed up my relationships with people.  My heart still aches from the pain of the open-heart surgery that Jesus had to do on me recently.

Between both the physical and spiritual pain, I feel so worn out.  Jesus is now sharing with me hope, but He's also showing me that it's going to be a hard uphill climb for a while.

During worship today, I was nearly in tears as He showed me that He still loved me.  I then had the image in my mind of my dad enveloping me in the hug that says I see what you're going through, I forgive you and love you, and I'm going to help you walk through this.  Truth be told, I had to stop singing on occasion for fear the tears would actually spill over.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. ~ Psalm 23:4

Yes, my heart aches with true pain, but I also know that God is faithful and that while He is just and had to discipline me, He is at the very same time love and He has new grace for me every single morning.

And that is a beautiful truth, the sort of truth that brings me hope.

Sunshine =)

I just feel like everyone needs to see this video.  Cause it's awesome.  Listen, enjoy, and know that this won't be the only time you listen to this song.  :)

The Hardest Thing to Do Part 2

It's so much bigger than I am.  I can't do this by myself.  Help me!

That was my heart's cry a few days ago as I was hit with the weightiness of my depravity yet again.  If there's one thing that I'm sure of, it's that God never lets me go for long without bringing me back to...

The reality of my sin
The reality that even though I'm saved, I'm not perfect
The reality that while I'm justified, I'm not yet fully sanctified

And this causes real pain.  The knowledge that I've been willfully blinded regarding my conduct towards certain people I love.

Love.

Reading 1 Corinthians 13, I'm beginning to wonder if I even know how to love after all.

Romans reminds me that there's nothing spectacular about loving those who are lovable, but that God's glory is seen when I love those who I find to be unlovable.

And that's what life is supposed to be about in the first place; God's glory, not ours.

"Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven." Matthew 5:16

Ok, ok, I get the principle well enough, but what about putting it into practice?  A little harder than just having head knowledge, ya know.

Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I'm pretty excellent at loving those who are loveable.  Enter the unlovable?  Well, I find them a bit more challenging.  In fact, it's when I meet up with an unlovable that I find myself doing the exact opposite of love.  So, my love is more often than not completely unspectacular and I rob God of the glory due Him.

Ok.  So.  Now we come to the crux of it, as it were.  My problem?  My kingdom is separate from God's.  Oops!  Big problem.  So I'm more concerned with Alex and Alex's preferences and agenda than I am with God's?  No bueno.

If I were concerned with God's kingdom all the time, then when an unlovable comes along, I set my rights aside and practice love by being patient, kind, humble, respectful, selfless, considerate, and a rejoice-er in the Truth.  I can't just laugh this off as impossible since it is commanded to us in Scripture. 

But that's just it.  It is impossible.  Completely and utterly so.

But I serve One for who it is possible.  I serve One who sees my human frame and remembers that I am but a worm.  I serve the One who is Himself the very essence of Love.  That's the thing with true love, though.  It's not something we do as much as it's something we are.  And that is a beautiful thing.  Thankfully, He sees my struggles, knows that I am NOT love, and is faithful to help me through it.

I know this is a life-long process and I know without a doubt that I will fail, but I'm committed to now start loving like the LORD.

The Hardest Thing to Do

LOVE is patient and kind; LOVE does not envy or boast; IT is not arrogant or rude.  IT does not insist on its own way; IT is not irritable or resentful; IT does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  LOVE bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  LOVE never ends.

To truly LOVE is for me the hardest thing to do.

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

Extroverts gain their energy from being around people.
Introverts gain their energy from snuggling up in a blanket on the couch and finishing that book.
Extroverts like hanging out with friends.
Introverts get lost in their own thoughts.
Extroverts know how to work a crowd and are fairly adept when it comes to social situations.
Introverts think hard and think well and only answer questions when they know without a doubt they have the right answer.

Yes, I can seem flaky to some people because I get very easily distracted.  Currently, I'm trying to figure out whether or not there is a link between Rachel wrestling with her sister, Leah, and prevailing and Jacob wrestling with the angel of the LORD and prevailing, and if it even matters, and how curious it is that the exact same wording is used.  At other times, I'm kept up at night replaying conversations over and over, wondering whether I said something correctly or with the right emphasis, or how I was perceived by the other party, and what it would be like to switch minds with the other person for just one day to see how their brain processes work and how that would actually scare me because do I really want to know what they think of me and SQUIRREL!

When I was little, I loved getting out of the house, finding something new and exciting to do, etc.  My worst fear was getting stuck at home with nothing to do but watch football on Sunday afternoons.  As I've been getting older I've begun appreciating the beauty of home.  I love hiding from the world and its problems, even if it's just for one day, and curling up with a good book, broken up intermittently by good strong doses of napping, and enjoying some peace and quiet.

Gah!  How is it that I identify with both personality types???  Do I even fall into a "category"?

It began to drive me nuts as I seemed to be lost in the netherworld of the great in-between nebulous of the undefined personality.

After living the first 18 years of my life thinking I was nothing but an extreme extrovert with just a few introverted tendencies, over the past couple of years, it appears I've begun to hang my hat at the introverted house a bit more often than the extroverted residence.

My conclusion?  I'm fearfully and wonderfully made, and I don't have to fit into a specific category.  I'm allowed to love my friends dearly, make new ones, get to know their quirks, and learn what makes them tick, while at the same time being allowed to love curling up with a good book and not leave the safety of my bedroom for a day or two.  Furthermore, I reserve the right to change my likes/dislikes whenever I want.  ;)

Yes, I screen all my calls, no, I no longer have a fear of talking on the phone.  Yes, I LOVE my friends, no, I don't feel the need to meet new people all the time.  Yes, I enjoy new and exciting things, no, they don't have to give me purpose anymore.

Are there things that need tweaking in my life?  Yes.  Am I perfect?  Far from it.  It's just that I'm beginning to realize that this thing called "life" is in a constant state of flux, flitting from one thing to the next as God teaches me how to use my abilities to better bring Him the glory He deserves.

The thing is that God uses both extroverts and introverts to further His glory.  Extroverts have the know-how to love people to the best of their abilities, and Introverts have the peace of mind to meditate on God's Word and Truth that it holds, thus being able to love God Himself better.  Being geared more towards one personality type than the other doesn't give an excuse for us to neglect one aspect for the other, but rather shows us what we really need to be working on.

At the end of the day, it is this passage that should bring us peace:

For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as of yet there was none of them.
~ Psalm 139:13-16

 

Choose Wisely, My Friend

I must say that this summer, one of the things I've been enjoying the most is getting to know each of my younger siblings for who they are.  Zach, Luke, Eliza and I are a gang and have been since we were little, so it's been nice spending time with the younger ones for a change.

Tonight, as I picked Grace up from her book club, we got to talking about the friends we have and the difference between good company and bad company.

Grace:  Sometimes when I'm with ... I just really want to go be with my other friends
Me:  Do you just not feel safe around ...?
Grace:  Yeah, it's a weird feeling

You know, I used to have two best friends who I did everything with.  We played together, talked together, spent the night at each others' houses, etc.  As we got to middle school, though, it became evident that they were both walking a path I wasn't comfortable following.  Something gnawed at my insides whenever I was around them, and I always felt like I was going to get in trouble.

It was with pain and regret that I told my parents I could no longer be friends with those two.  Something just always felt slightly off when I was with them, and it wasn't that we were necessarily doing anything wrong.  It was just that I got the sense that things could go downhill in a big hurry and I didn't want any part in it!

Looking back and seeing the things I see in their lives now, I'm so thankful that God spared me from those relationships.  I have a lot of joy in my life, I have earned the trust of my parents, and I love learning more about God!  All of these things I would either have been alone in or would have lacked entirely if I had continued spending time with those individuals.

When I told Grace this, she said, "Well at least you know how to pick friends!"  And when I learned she could relate to my story, it made me glad because that means that she'll be wise about the friends she chooses as well.  There's a HUGE difference between the friends who we're comfortable around and the ones we aren't.

Bad friends will tell you it's okay to do certain things because, hey, it's your life and you should be able to live it up the way you want!  Great friends will point out red flags when they see them and hold you accountable to righteous living.

And yes, accountability means a lot.  It will be a dangerous day indeed once we decide we no longer desire someone looking over our shoulder and checking us when needs be.  A truly great friend will put the relationship on the line by calling you out when you need it, and will spur you on towards love and good deeds.

Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.  A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion. ~ Proverbs 18:1-2

Blessed is the one who fears the LORD always, but whoever hardens his heart will fall into calamity. ~ Proverbs 28:14

Oh how thankful I am for my sister, Grace.  The more I've been getting to know her this summer, the more I realize how deep of a thinker she really is, and how passionate she is about the things of God.  She takes time to process conversations or off-hand remarks made by our family members and really chews on Truth.  Oh to be more like my Grace who has a quiet and gentle spirit and who is actively pursuing wisdom.  More than that, I'm so proud of her for longing to make right decisions when it comes to making close friends.

IT'S A SNAKE!!!!

Last night, I could have sworn I saw a 10 foot snake slithering on my wall.  I hopped out of my bed, screamed, "SNAKE" and flipped on the light switch, my heart getting ready to pound out of my chest.  It was at this point that my yell woke my sister up and she bounded out of bed telling me it was okay.  Of course, at that point I was fully awake and trying to steady my heart-beat.  With the light on, I could see that there was no python hanging on my wall and that I could go back to sleep in peace.  My sister snickered at me and turned off the light before going back to bed herself.

[As a side note, all my nightmares seem to include snakes.  It is with Indiana Jones that I can confidently say: Snakes?  I hate snakes!  I HATE THEM!]

I've been known to have conversations with myself, sing, get tangled up in my covers to the point where I think I'll never get out, and end up using my sister's pillow.  Since it seems to be a fairly regular occurrence, I think that's one of the reasons God allowed me the blessing of sleeping deeply... or I would never sleep at all.  :P

Sleep is a precious commodity that we often take for granted.  Some of us sleep as hard as a rock with about as much muscle movement as a lame sloth, while others thrash about, never quite getting comfortable and wake at the slightest bit of outside noise.

[none of these is accurate when it comes to determining my personality as I utilize them all and I know I don't have multiple personalities disorder  :)]

I myself am a balance between the two.  I sleep as hard as a rock, but I use the whole bed (did I mention I sleep on a king-sized bed?).  Many adventures I have had whilst asleep.  I'm usually unaware of them myself, but I've given lots of laughs to my roommates who, once the sun hath risen over the horizon, have relayed stories that have even mine own shoulders shaking in mirth!

I'm not alone, however, in my half-asleep stupors.  During breakfast this morning, I discovered that at least half my family talks or walks in their sleep and that we all, even the little ones, have funny stories to tell about our snoozing siblings.  Apparently, we're a very active bunch, even when unconscious.

And let me tell you, nothing puts me to sleep quite as quickly as a movie.  If a movie goes on and I'm cuddled up in a blanket and laying down on the couch, I'll be out in 5 minutes or less.  It's gotten so bad that watching movies has become more like a chore than anything else!

But yes.  Sleep is good.  I love to sleep, and I love the joy that sleeping brings to me, even if I'm not conscious enough to fully appreciate it at the time.

Adventure- Bound :)

In just 10 weeks, I'll get to experience this beauty:

Words cannot express how excited I am!  Now to work as many hours as possible and save up like crazy!  It'll be here before I know it!  :D :D :D

Come On, Let's Go!

I imagined my life to look so very different.  Technically speaking, if everything had gone according to my plan, I would be entering my senior year of college in just a few short weeks.  I would have a car.  I would be somewhere close to having real adventures.

Well, as it turns out, after taking a full year of classes at a community college, I took a semester off of school to work and then transferred in to a Bible college.  Due to the difference in nature of the two schools, all my credits transferred, but few actually applied to classes I really needed.  Where I had my math and science courses completed, I needed Greek and Hebrew.  That sort of thing.  ;)

And as it turns out, I'm much closer to having real adventures than I originally thought.  After completing a year and a half at that school, something else came up.  In fact, it happened right around Easter.  This thing rocked my world, excited me beyond imagination, and made me want to really do things with my life.  What was that event?  Well.

I decided to go to Israel for six months.

What???  Won't that set you back in school yet again?  Won't you miss huge family events at home, like, oh I don't know, the birth of you newest sibling?  Won't that set you back in school?  And isn't Israel surrounded by hostile nations? Most importantly, won't that set you back in school???

The answer is a big whopping "YES" to all of these.

As you can imagine, one of the biggest factors playing against me is the time-frame in which I finish school.  After thinking long and hard about this, I've come to these realizations:
1)  Finishing school in a mere four years (which I already blew by taking a semester off) is more of a cultural norm than anything else
2)  I have literally nothing holding me back at this point.  I'm not married, engaged, or even in a relationship, so this is THE time to do something like this.
3)  I've always had a penchant for adventure, so when an opportunity of these proportions comes my way, I may possibly have an obligation to myself to think seriously about running with these things.
4)  This is truly the adventure of a lifetime, and I seriously can't imagine turning this one down.

So yes, if things were to go according to my plan, my life would look very different, and much less adventure-filled, which is odd since I love living for the memories.  It is with great excitement that I look forward to boarding that plane that will take me half a world away so I can experience what it's like to live in a different culture for an extended period of time.

Yes, school and family will be waiting for me when I come back.  Yes, I'll still have a job when I come back.  And yes, I'll have a slew of stories and photos when I come back.

For the record, I'm so glad my life isn't going according to my plan.  What a boring life that would have been.

So, here's to the memories, adventures, stories, and new experiences.  God is good, my friends, and I can't wait to see what He's written next in the story of my life.

 

50 and Counting

The sound of my grandfather singing to my grandmother filled the kitchen as the entire family gathered around to watch a slide show of pictures of my grandparents over the years appear on the screen.  Testimonies from their friends of 30+ years brought laughter as memories were shared as well as tears as sweet heart-felt sentiments were spoken.

You know, this is the second set of grandparents I've had who've celebrated their 50th anniversary.  Last year, my dad's parents were able to experience 50 years of wedded bliss and this year my mom's parents joined them.

 

I can't tell you how thankful I am for both sets of grandparents.  I look at my parents, and the strength of character they both have.  I look at their values and passions and can't help but to thank God for giving them their own parents who spent time parenting them.  Both sets of grandparents have trained, loved, prayed for, raised, and befriended my parents who have in turn done the same for me and my siblings.

 

And that's what gets me to thinking...

 

My legacy begins with my grandparents.  Many of my great-grandparents weren't saved until sometime after my grandparents.  Which means I really have my grandparents to thank for training my parents in the faith who then led me to the Lord.  It's because of them that I have a passion for the Lord, and it's because of them that I want to gain as much wisdom as I can.

 

My grandparents are perhaps the wisest people I know.  I can't tell you how many conversations I've had with them that leave me feeling like I've had a small taste of heaven, wishing Jesus would come back already so I could spend all eternity having moments like those.

 

50+ years spent married to the same person... sticking it out during the hard times, treasuring up the beautiful moments, learning from their mistakes, making a concerted effort to grow together, but most importantly keeping Christ at the center of it all...  these are the lessons I've learned from my grandparents and hope to apply in my own marriage down the road.

As a side note, you should really hear them tell the story of one of their first fights in which a birthday cake played a vital role.

 

 

 

So to Grandma and Grandpa, happy 50th anniversary!  Your marriage has produced a large family with 3 kids and 12 (soon to be 13 [or will it be 14?]) grandkids, most of whom know the Lord.  May every year be a little different and a lot sweeter!  I love you!!!

Who, Me? You've Got the Wrong Woman

If I were to have gone to a public highschool, I would have been voted "least likely to get involved in politics."  Even though I was homeschooled, I was still voted by my family "least likely to get involved in politics."  Any time I've tried to keep up with the world's current events, I would get so worked up about them that I've spent the better part of my 20 years trying to avoid them altogether.  Chances are VERY good that if I'm not at home with my family around the dinner table, I will have little to no knowledge of what's going on.

God has a sense of humor.

This past semester, God began changing the way I thought.  About what?  Everything.  Behind the scenes, He began to gently prod me along as I began to really think about what it meant to live with excellence or what it even really meant to be a Christian!  Every passage I read in Scripture, every sermon I listened to, even every song on the radio pointed me to active living.  Actually, looking back over the past couple of posts I've written, I can see how I should have been expecting it to happen.  Oh, it should have been blaringly obvious.

Haha! God has a sense of humor!

What happened exactly, you may be asking?

A mere two weeks ago, I found myself on a conference call with roughly 30 pro-life grassroots leaders from not just my state, but from all over the nation!  Granted, in the presence of such great leaders, I listened more than I spoke and mostly just took notes.  I didn't (and still don't) consider my role vital to operations.  All I did was try to consolidate the information that we gathered and the plans we wanted to put into action and try to communicate it to pro-lifers via a facebook event that I created called Warriors Needed.

Two weeks ago I had no idea there was an extension to the capitol.  I had no idea there were two rotundas.  I had no idea who wrote HB2.  I had no idea that there was a library in the capitol, or that mere citizens are able to go in it.  I had no idea where either the House Gallery or the Senate Gallery were.  I'd always been pro-life, but never an activist.

Since two weeks ago, I've been on numerous conference calls that typically lasted a couple of hours.  I've been at work for 6-7 hours, only to go right from work to the capitol for another 6-7 hours to show my support.  I've kept my group up to date on what was going on.  I've had a crash-course on how a bill becomes law.  I've walked all over the capitol building.  I've shared why I was pro-life on www.lettexasspeak.com to hundreds of viewers from around the nation.  I've been yelled at.  I've prayed with people who I've never met.  I've shook hands with representatives and have gotten to know some seriously awesome pro-lifers who I wouldn't have met otherwise.

Yes, God has a sense of humor, and so do I.

I do see the humor in Him using a person who has had no prior experience in politics or networking to accomplish His purposes.  I do see the humor in having people calling, texting, emailing, or facebook messaging me questions that 3 weeks ago I wouldn't have had answers to, but now to which I can give a brief summary or check with someone else who knows.

I'm glad I had the opportunity to actively stand for something that I know to be right.  I'm glad that I could expend my time and energy on something that was worth it.  I'm glad I got to participate in this fight.  I'm also glad that it's over for now.  I know there's more to come, I just don't know when or how, but I do know that I'd like to remain involved in giving a voice to the voiceless, not because it's glamorous (far from it), but because it's the right thing to do.

Won't you join me?

Never, Never Give Up

My feet hurt.  My eyes are bloodshot.  I chose not to wear makeup to work today.  I'm wearing the comfiest clothes I own and I'm curled up in my comfy bed.

I'm weary
I'm weary of hearing people chant at me without ceasing
I'm weary of having to be polite
I'm weary of sharing Christ's love
I'm weary

As I stood outside the senate gallery eight days ago, witnessing the mob rule the day as the legislators tried to vote, I never imagined that I'd be caught up quite so quickly in this legal/spiritual battle.

Who am I?  A big nobody with no past political experience and who generally takes the path of least resistance in lesser matters.  That's who I am.

But on occasion... I have opinions.  They don't come often, and when they do, I am more than willing to go to bat over them. Over the past eight days I've met with close to 30 pro-life leaders in several conference calls, I've done my best to stay on top of news as well as get information out to pro-life supporters, I've been on the phone at midnight and then have been up early the next morning to get the word out to people who were asleep, but most importantly, I've tried to rally my fellow prayer warriors to go before the King.

I know this bill isn't necessarily a pro-life vs. pro-choice sort of deal.  I know that as a pro-lifer, I'm arguing to make it safer for a woman to have an abortion by getting the abortion clinics up to snuff.  I know I'm arguing that it's okay for a woman to have an abortion up to the 20th week of pregnancy.  I know all this.  But you know what?  It's the next step in this pro-life battle.  It will shut down all but 5 clinics in the state of Texas.
 
And even as we fight to pass this bit of legislation, I have to think of  Ephesians 6:12-13 where it says, "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.  Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm."

At the end of this, I will look in the mirror and ask myself, "have I done all?"  I'm taking a stand for the voiceless, yet I can't ignore the ones with voices (the mothers).  I know that I need to love them as Christ would, but I also don't need to lie to you and pretend that it's easy to love those who are shouting me down and mocking me.  Not retaliating in kind is probably the HARDEST thing I've ever done.

And it's hard.... oh so very hard

So yes, I am weary

Galatians 6:9 (emphasis mine) says, "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.  So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith."

And so, I'm resting up this evening in preparation for the work ahead.

I praise God for the work that He's already accomplished, anxiously awaiting what He has in store next!

Do That Which is Right

Have you ever heard the unified screams of 2,000 people?
I have.
Has that sound caused your heart to break?
It broke mine.

There we were, two people wearing blue amongst a sea of bright orange.  The sound of the screams causing chills to run up and down my back as I fought off the tears of hopelessness.  Desperately, my sister and I prayed aloud as the anti-lifers shouted "Shame!  Shame!  Shame!"

Pro-lifers were supposed to be wearing the color blue, and blue speckled the orange crowd last night.  However, half of those wearing blue held up signs advocating the selfishness of women.  Our numbers were few, our ranks at a pitiful minimum.

We had been standing in a line to get to the senate gallery for an hour and a half, telling Planned Parenthood supporters that no, we didn't want to fill out their sheet of paper, and no, we didn't want their brochure.

When the first shout went up, there was a mad rush at for the gallery door.  Eliza and I squeezed our way through so that we could just barely see the door if we stood on our tip-toes.  The chant "Let us in!  Let us in!" filled our ears as it echoed throughout the capitol building.

"We need to pray!" I shouted in Eliza's ear.  And there, just the two of us began to pray with our eyes closed and our heads bowed.  Before we knew it, we were joined by another blue shirt.  As we were praying with her, another pro-life supporter came up and joined our group.  Together, the four of us stood and had a prayer vigil.  The times we prayed hardest were the times the shouts were the loudest, the times when we couldn't hear ourselves think.

News was confusing, as some were saying the SB 5 passed, while others claimed it didn't pass before midnight.  On edge, the four of us waited, never ceasing to pray even though we had run out of words to say.  Unfortunately the bill did NOT pass, and we are currently praying now that Governor Perry would extend the special session today for another vote.

One of the things that saddened me was when a father decked out in orange lifted his toddler daughter to his shoulders (also in orange) and led her in the chant.  Do those children even understand what they were shouting for?  Do they not know that their parents were chanting for the right to kill them?  How terribly heart-wrenching is that?

Perhaps the worst part of the whole experience was the fact that there were so few supporters of LIFE there.  As far as I could tell, the four of us were about it.  What level has this country sunk to?  As my mom put it, the darkness is just getting darker.

For 5 hours my sister, two new friends, and I stood there with our backs to a wall (literally) and watched as evil yet again was what the people wanted.  My heart broke.  My prayers turned to just simply saying, "No, God, no!"

And yet, I still serve a God who is in control.  I still serve a God who is sovereign.  I still serve a God who is putting into place His perfect plan.  I still serve a God who was very much present at the capitol last night.  I serve the God, who when the crowds chanted "Shame!  Shame!  Shame!" reacted in the way that Psalm 2 depicts: "The One enthroned in heaven laughs; the LORD scoffs at them.  Then he rebukes them in his anger and terrifies them in his wrath, saying, 'I have installed my King on Zion, my holy hill.'" (emphasis mine [verses 4-6])

It was during our prayer vigil last night that I was reminded of William Wilberforce - a man who literally spent his entire life fighting to end slavery in England.  He expended his time, health, and energy to fighting for what was right and what was worth it.  I want to be the next William Wilberforce. 

This fight against cold-blooded murder isn't over yet.
We're not through yet.

Live with Excellence (Part 2)

"You kids are working with integrity and are doing a job well done.  While you may not necessarily always be speaking the gospel, I think you're living it."

Don't get me wrong, to most accurately depict the gospel, you must use your words, but the flip side of that coin is living it out.

It is my firm belief that Christians need to be the very best businessmen, chefs, clerks, judges, bankers, pastors, parents, siblings, and neighbors that they possibly can.  They should understand that God has given them certain giftings and skill sets that they shouldn't be afraid to develop and make further use of!

But why?  Why is it so necessary to excel at our sport, job, craft, etc.?

It all goes back to representing Christ's name with accuracy.  As Christians, we need to be above reproach, always honing in the characteristics of Christ Jesus, showing the world who it is we belong to and why it's worth it.  Because, after all, it truly is worth it.

We need to be living lives that beg the question "why?"  If that's not happening, then we aren't doing our job correctly.

Another important reason for living with excellence is to bring God the glory He deserves.  If our work is also our worship, then wouldn't it be the most God-glorifying thing to worship Him to the very best of our abilities?  This means practicing, researching, learning, and then giving 110% of our best efforts.

Living with excellence is hard.  It's challenging and will take every last ounce of energy and brain power we have if we're doing it right!

Those are just some of my thoughts on the subject.  I obviously don't have it all figured out, but I definitely think it's worth taking some time to think about.

Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

Since I won't be able to enjoy Father's Day with you over ribeye steaks, loaded mashed potatoes, and cabernet sauvignon, I decided to do the next best thing, which is to write you an early Father's Day letter, dedicated totally to you.  Sound good?

Protection.  You, Dad, take your role seriously.  You let us know that our family has rules for a reason.  Lots of times, the rules were to prevent premature exposure to what the world had to offer.  More often than not, howevever, as little kids, we didn't understand the "why" behind the rules, and we were simply told to trust you.  This exemplified the way in which we were to interact with Christ.  How many times will we be called to simply obey and trust that He will know the "why" even while we won't?  Yes, through your protection of us, you taught us instantaneous obedience and trust.  Perhaps those are the most important lessons you taught me.

All the credit for this next lesson learned in my life goes to you as well.  Remember when we'd sit in the truck bed and watch the rain pour down from the safety of our garage?  Or remember how we took a walk in the snow one quiet evening, or how you'd wake several of us up to witness a meteor shower?  More recent history has you taking turns about the vegetable garden.  You love to stop and smell the roses, taking every opportunity to enjoy the life that God has given you.  Yes, this lesson taught me to live life and live it well.

I can't tell you how thankful I am for your laughter and all those times you've laughed til you cried.  I can't tell you how many times your sayings randomly pop in my head while I'm away.  I can't tell you with enough emphasis how I may never read those first 30 pages in that photography book that you keep hounding me to read.  I can't tell you how many times I may still walk through the non-walkway.

But what I can tell you is how blessed I am to have your genes.  Even though I know you're going to make a snide remark about blue jeans with that last sentence, I think it's pretty cool how people say I look just like you.

Thanks for the lessons, memories, laughter, and hot wings.

You're amazing, and I love you!

Love,
Owl Licks

Just Another Lively Update

I know I've been on a theological kick of late, and that's not a bad thing, but I thought it to be high time I give an update on life.

A few musings are thusly:

1.  School is over and done with for about a year hence.  Why?  You'll have to see the update below to fully grasp why.  But yes, finals have been taken, exit exams completed, and grades uploaded on CAMS.  This has me very excited!

2.  I'm going to Israel in a few months for an extended period of time to enjoy getting to know how another culture lives their day-to-day lives.  I'll be volunteering at a guest house.  But I'm sure this will have a post all its own in the upcoming months.

3.  I'll be staffing with Worldview Academy once again this summer!  Just for a week, but I'm uber stoked.  Think hard. Think well.

4.  As in previous summers, this summer I am mostly just working and saving up for my upcoming trip.  Slightly stressful since I really have to save just about every penny, but it'll be worth it (is what I keep telling myself.)  ;)

5.  Now that it's summer, I'm trying to read as many books for fun as I possibly can.  I've been out of school for 3-ish weeks now, and I'm working on finishing book 3 for the summer.  Awesomesauce, if you know what I mean.  My hope is to get a good selection of both fiction and non-fiction going to broaden my mind and thinking capabilities.  ;)  Can't wait to see the myriads of books that will fall into my lap over the next couple of months.

And that's about it for now!  I do hope all of you are enjoying your summer thus far.  :)

Identity Theft (Part 1)

“I’m sick of it… just… sick.”

My roommate and I had this conversation on more than one occasion.  As we both sprawled out in our living room, we vocalized our frustration with CINO’s.

Christians in name only are NOT Christians, contrary to popular belief.  If your walk doesn’t reflect your talk then shut your mouth and change your name.

Think of it in this way.  Imagine a woman.  Not just any woman, a woman with an identity.  She knows who she is and who she belongs to.  Likewise, those who know her know who she is and who she belongs to.  It’s quite simple, really.  Why?  Because she bears her father’s name.  Because of this, it is her job to represent her father’s name with accuracy and with honor whenever she is out and about or just sitting at home.  Once she gets married, she bears her husband’s name and is entrusted with accurate and honorable representation in this case as well.

Identity.

A sense of belonging where you know without a doubt whose you are and therefore what you are supposed to do.

How does this reflect Christianity?

Let’s take a look at Exodus.  Exodus is the book in the Bible that for the first time introduces the law to God’s covenant people.  Specifically, the law shows how God’s people are supposed to act both towards God Himself as well as their neighbor.  There’s one major law, however, that has launched my mind into orbit as it has pondered the details of a purposeful life, and therefore living a life of excellence.

“You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain, for the LORD will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain."  Exodus 20:7

What does that even mean?  I truly believe this to go deeper than just saying things like, “Oh my God.”  I think that this law represents a whole lifestyle!

Remember the woman and her identity?  The same applies here to God’s people.  If one truly associates himself with God, he typically calls himself a Christian.  Christian.  Christian.  Follower of Christ.   That person has taken the name of his God upon himself, making a statement to the world that he no longer assumes the identity of the world, but the identity of Someone so much bigger!  What a great identity!

But what happens when a person who calls himself a Christian simply doesn’t represent Christ accurately to the world?  Not only has he lied about his identity, but he has misrepresented God’s very character.

"Therefore, be imitators of God, as beloved children.  And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." Ephesians 5:1-2

My mind reels with the implications of what said imitation looks like.

The Simple Life is Not for Me

I don't believe in frettin' and grievin'
Why mess around with strife
I never was cut out to step and strut out
Give me the simple life

I'm not gonna lie, I have huge dreams of living quite the simple life.  I long to get married, have kids, and make home the place my family wants to be.  I don't need to get involved in politics and I certainly don't need to waste my energy fighting for causes that may never be won this side of heaven.

But you're called to be a fighter

It was just a few days ago that while I was dreaming of living the simple life, God seemed to say, "You're a fighter.  You were made to fight for my kingdom.  While peaceful sunny days spent sitting on your back porch with your children playing around you and an ice cold lemonade within arm's reach seems like paradise, you're not in paradise yet."

Rats.

In one fell swoop, my dreams and aspirations of living where the green grass grows disappeared into thin air.

A cottage small is all I'm after
Not one that's spacious and wide
A house that rings with joy and laughter
And the ones you love inside

I realized that as a Christian, I am called to put on my armor and prepare to do battle.  That thought hit hardest when news of the Gosnell murders came to my attention.  This is a sad, pitiful, fallen world, yet I am called to fight with everything I have in me.

I don't desire to expend my energies fighting, yet it is becoming more and more clear that that is precisely what I am supposed to do.

Perhaps you think this should be a blaringly obvious call for the Christian, and perhaps it is, but there's that part of me that lives in denial.  It's a struggle to get down on my knees and fight for the kingdom.  It's a struggle being intentional about learning as much as I can so I can fight as best I can.  It's a struggle figuring out the nitty gritty details of what I believe and then fighting for them.  It's a struggle.

The thing is that Christians aren't called to the simple life.  Romans 5:3-5 says, "More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."

As Christians, there should be a constant struggle.  There should be something that requires endurance.  There should be something to fight for.

It is for the very fact that I am a Christian that I need to get involved in politics.  I need to fight for causes that may not be won this side of heaven.  I need to be informed and know what's going on.  I need to take a stand and fight!

While I wish with all my heart I could simply make a home for myself, dig around in the garden, read on the back porch, lay on my back and star gaze every night, I know that those sorts of things can't compose the whole of my life. 

Not yet.  There's so much work to be done!

The voiceless need someone to stand up for them
There are people who need a shoulder to cry on
There are people who need to hear God's truth

Here's the most important underlying issue of all our battles: because we live in a world that thumbs its nose at God, there are many, many people who need to be taught how to fear the Lord!

The simple life.  Not for me.  Not right now.

Now is the time to fight.

Intercession = Passion

What's wrong with me? I thought to myself as tears streamed down my face.  Why am I having such trouble calming down?  It's been an hour!

I'm not big on crying.  It annoys me.  I don't even like to cry in front of myself!  When my tear ducts decide to overflow on me I go into the bathroom, shut the door, and keep the lights off so I can't see myself in the mirror, compose myself in a timely manner, and go on with life.

Not this time.

I had just been convicted of my lack of quiet times, so I resolved to get up early the next morning, to have coffee with God to make up for lost time.  My reading was Solomon's dedication of the temple.  That portion of Scripture is filled with God's covenant faithfulness towards Israel.  I highlighted, circled, and underlined like crazy!  Then I moved on to prayer.

At first I was just thanking God for mundane things, when out of nowhere my younger brother's name popped into my head.  I wasn't really sure why.  The last I had heard, he'd settled pretty well into school up north and that he was doing great.  Because I thought of him, though, I began to pray for him.  I wasn't sure what to pray exactly, so I prayed over him what I had learned in my reading: that God's faithfulness would be made known to him, and that God would become ever more real in his life.

As I prayed I began to cry, which, like I said before, was unusual for me.  Something was going on.  I sent Luke a quick text letting him know that he was on my heart and that I had prayed like crazy for him.  The tears continued to come.

I got a shower, brushed my teeth, and began studying for the day, and still I cried.

That evening Luke and I skyped each other.  When he asked what I had prayed for him, and when he heard my answer, he responded with, "Wow!  That's exactly what I needed!"  I almost fell out of my chair at that!

--------------------------------------------------------

What I am getting at with this narrative is that God has opened my eyes to a new passion --> intercessory prayer.

Oh how I love to pray for other people! 

Yes, I pray for myself all the time, and there is a time and a place for that, but during those times when God has given me a break from my own mountain climbing, I love to pray for those who are in the climbing process!  As I began to realize this, God brought many people into my life who needed prayer and were willing to share with me.

I can't tell you how many hurting people came to me last semester, either just needing someone to listen first and then pray later, or for someone to pray with them right away.  Some of my favorite memories from last semester were the times when I and all my roommates gathered together in our living room to pray for each other as various situations came up. 

What a beautiful picture of the body of Christ, coming together, sharing each others pain, and bringing it before the only One who could truly teach and mold us through our circumstances.

You know what?  It's encouraging to me to get to see my prayers answered.  It doesn't always happen, but I praise and thank God when He allows me to catch a glimpse of what He's doing.  I fall ever more in love with Him regardless of whether or not I see that my prayers have an affect because I am spending more time with Him.

Spending time with God. 
What a wonderful, wonderful blessing that we should never take for granted! 
I get to have a relationship with God, and I get to commune with Him.  WOW!  I am constantly blown away by that!

On Sunday during communion, I remember begging God to help me never cease to be in a state of awe at the work on the cross.

And that's one of the reasons why I love intercession.  It is because of the finished work on the cross, because the sinless savior died and rose again, that I have faith.  It is because of my redemption that I have hope for tomorrow, and it's because of that hope I know it's worth it to pray for others.

Is it strange that I feel the most useful in God's kingdom when I'm flat on my face on my bedroom floor?

Intercessory prayer is my passion, and I hope God will continue to bring me to my knees on behalf of my brothers and sisters for the rest of my life.

Bound and Determined

Here we gooooo!  (Peter Pan, anyone?)

How am I preparing for the new semester?

So glad you asked.  ;)

~  I've been working over the past couple of evenings on gathering new (and cheap) recipes!  I decided to be more adult-like in my lifestyle this year, so instead of finding the easiest foods to eat (which typically means running over to Taco Bell), I'm going to be cooking more.  I love to cook, but last year I discovered that I don't know how to cook for 1, so my meals actually last me about a week.  Also, I learned that I don't feel like cooking until I'm hungry, and when I'm hungry, I want to eat right away!  Enter in determination #1:  cook more, eat healthier, and plan ahead.

~  During the school year, I typically restrict myself to reading only books I need to get through for school.  These books are GREAT, don't get me wrong, it's just that at times, I need a mental break.  So, I dug up a few books that I've received during Christmases past that I still have not gotten around to reading.  Determination #2:  do a bit of light reading before bed each night.

~  Last year, I was haphazardly healthy.  I ran a little, ate a piece of fruit or two, and thought about riding my bike.  This year, I plan on actually being healthy.  My parents gave me a blender for Christmas last month (please, spare me your "Father of the Bride" comments as I was quite happy to get it), and I plan on using it to make lots of smoothies.  Determination #3:  ride bike to work, run once a week, drink smoothies.

No, these are not New Year's Resolutions because resolutions fizzle out about two days into the new year.  These are things I am determined to do in the hopes that I'll enjoy life more!  Join me in my new adventure in active living!

This is looking like it'll be a great year!

Family History

It's been a year since my great-grandmother died, and I'm just now getting around to rooting around all the old books that we got from her.  Hidden inside many of them were old newspaper articles about WWII, research notes, and discussion questions.

I spent the afternoon amusing myself with my treasure hunt.  In one book, I discovered a letter written to Mommom and Poppop from my dad.  In it, he told them he loved them and that he was sorry he wasn't corresponding as regularly as he would have liked.  He also told them that this would probably be his final letter to them before life began to get busier due to new distractions, referring to the birth of my older brother.  Little did he know that he would have 9 more distractions down the road.  ;)

Among old books and aging copies Times Magazine I found pictures of my dad when he was in grade school.  Also, Mommom kept every single picture we had ever sent her, including the ones of my brothers, sisters, and I when we were just a year old, all the way up to our high school graduation invitations.

Another gem that I came upon, which also happens to be my favorite, was the letter addressed from Germany.  It wasn't a lengthy message, but long enough for me to get to know the woman writing it just as well as my great-grandparents did when they read it all those years ago.

You see, my great-grandparents loved to travel!  Europe was a well-visited destination for them, and they met all sorts of interesting people.  The German woman who sent them this letter told them how excited she was to meet them and help them discover which part of Germany their (and incidentally, my own) ancestors hailed from.  Also enclosed in the envelope is what I think was one of their German train tickets.

I could spend hours listening to stories of Mommom and Poppop's travels, or the various jobs that Poppop worked to support them, or their family traditions.  If I could, I would pore over old letters and read every single note they ever wrote in the margins of their books.

Family history - learn it!

Attitude Isn't Everything

Alarm rings.  Roll over and turn it off.  Tumble out of bed and hobble to the door on swollen feet.

*grumble, grumble, grumble*
*complain, complain, complain*

Showered and dressed, head downstairs to grab a cup of coffee.  Gulp it down in a swallow or two and head for the car.  Can't take the car today, get dropped off.

*grumble, grumble, grumble*
*complain, complain, complain*

Customer demands explanation as to why coupon didn't go through.  Try to keep a lid on it.  Vent once home.

*grumble, grumble, grumble*
*complain, complain, complain*

"Do all things without grumbling or complaining," was the oft quoted verse around our house growing up.  I hate that verse.  Why?  Because I need it.

Attitude.  It pervades everything we do, making our lives either the most joyous of experiences or the most wretched.

If there's just one thing that I've been learning recently, it's that while your attitude isn't everything, it sure is a lot.

All my life I've struggled with maintaining a positive outlook on life and the things that God has set before me to accomplish.  While I'm pretty good at hiding my distaste when I'm out and about, God and my family sure aren't fooled.


It wasn't until very recently that I realized how many areas there were for me to change my attitude toward.  But here's the interesting thing, once I began to actively try changing one area, the rest got easier, to the point where I wasn't even trying anymore.  I realized that my life was made up of preconceived notions and I wasn't willing to relinquish my hold on the way that I thought life was supposed to look.

By God's grace, He opened my eyes to my incorrect way of thinking.

But how did I go about changing a sour attitude?  For one thing, it meant swallowing my pride, willing myself to be humbled by God.  The next step was to be willing to be teachable.  My friends, it's HARD.

It's hard to swallow your pride and ask God to help you change your attitude.  It's hard to succumb to His prodding.  It's hard to be active in changing.  It's h.a.r.d.

But it's worth it...

Because letting God sanctify and mold you into something that resembles more Christ-like behavior is always worth it.

I'm by no means perfect at this.  I know that I still have a long way to go, but instead of grumbling about that, I will strive to rejoice in the knowledge that this means that God and I will be working very closely together for a while longer .... before He brings some other issue to my attention.  :)

Attitude isn't everything, but it sure is a lot.