My Cup Overfloweth

I am so filled with happiness right now!  I've had chats that lasted long into the night, great breakfasts at magnificent restaurants, happy conversations, etc., etc., etc.  Quite honestly, I have had an amazing time over the past 18 hours!

Isn't it amazing who God decides to place in our lives?  I've made friends over the past 7 months who I can't imagine my life without (y'all know who you are).  Last night I had a great chat with a friend who I've only recently got to know over the past two months.  We pretty much covered all the bases from childhood memories to various plans for the future.  This morning, my brother and I met a friend for breakfast and talked about everything from school to family life.  I have been so blessed to meet and continue to develop those relationships.

It's funny how a year ago the future only looked dark and forbidding.  I knew I wouldn't be alone, but deep down it felt like I would.  I was scared, depressed, and even angry at times.  But God brought me full circle, back to where I could see His protection and provision.  I have been so encouraged and am now excited about what the future holds!

Yes, life is certainly more enjoyable with friends by my side.  :D

What am I supposed to do?

Everyone has a job to do.  Speakers are supposed to remember their lines and try to connect with their judges on a higher level than their fellow competitors.  Debaters are supposed to present their arguments clearly and try to persuade their judge to see their side of things.  So what is the job of a former competitor?

This past weekend I poured over ballots, reading and rereading the comments I had written to each student, trying to justify my choosing this person for first place over that one.  It was an exceedingly difficult task, yet one that I was asked to do.  I hate being nit-picky, yet that is what I had to be in order to make a final decision.

One of the reasons this decision making was so hard was because of my love language:  words of encouragement.  I want everybody to do well in everything.  Ranking people from 1st -8th place was like torture for me!  The thought that my ranking and/or comments might crush someone absolutely mortified me!  Quite honestly, there were several ballots that I didn't want my name written on for all to see.

I remember getting ballots back and seeing only critiques and no encouragement to improve and do better.  These were the ballots that disheartened me.  I often thought that my failure to do well in some of the judges eyes was a character flaw.  I was crushed.  But then I would look at the other two ballots from the same room that would offer critiques, but then would also tell me one thing I did well.  These were the ones where I was encouraged to change some of the things in my speech that didn't work so well, and keep the things that did.

During this tournament I began to realize what my job was as an alumni.  Quite simply, it was to become each student's big sister.  I was to give each competitor something they could work on but also encourage them in their speaking abilities, building them up whenever I could.  Several students knew that I was an alum.  When I knew that one of my judges was an alum, nothing made my day better than knowing that they personally offered me encouragement, wanting me to succeed.

And that's what I want for every single competitor that presented their speech to me, looked me in the eye, and shook my hand as they thanked me for my time.  I want them to succeed!

Maybe I have a different perspective on alumni judging than some, but it's the  judging philosophy that I'm going to stick with.

I love this!

I enjoy reading the brilliant literary works of our founding fathers.  Clever, humorous, and sarcastic, their words have long been imprinted on the minds of Americans.  Their courage in speaking out and telling the world of their personal beliefs is amazing!  If we had not won the Revolutionary War, each and every one of them would have lost their lives.

One of my favorite founding fathers is Benjamin Franklin.  True, he had a less than reputable personal life, but his work for our country was simply astounding!  My new favorite piece of literature was one that he himself wrote called, "Rules By Which a Great Empire May Be Reduced to a Small One".  A long title, to be sure, but one that covers a vast number of topics.  There are old pieces of literature out there where the humor is completely lost on me, due to the fact that it generally has to do with what were then modern customs; things that I know not of! But, in this piece of writing, the sarcasm is quite obvious!  I thoroughly enjoyed it!

Visit this link to read it yourself!  If you love to read or if you love revolutionary war documents, you will LOVE this!

Spring Break Overview

Things that happened this week:

-- Spring Break technically began on Thursday of last week, so it's been a nice break

-- Zachary was home!  Always a plus!

-- We had some really great weather, so last week I decided I was going to go hiking sometime this week, but it never did come to fruition

-- We celebrated 2 birthdays with one more on the morrow

--  We had a game night with the S family and ended up playing capture the flag where I scuttled here and there with a comforter tossed over my head!  :P

-- (this one's more like a lowlight) I had to learn how to let go of some personal plans ... again

-- I didn't necessarily get to spend as much time with my family as I would have liked

-- I got to have coffee with my dear friend, Margaret (I think we pretty much covered all the bases that a conversation can cover!)

-- I'm gonna have lunch with Christina today!!!

-- I did not get to see several of the extensions of my family (Peter, you failed to take your usual place in our home this week!  And I didn't really see the H's at all....)

-- I did not get to read like I had wanted

Yes, this was a different Spring Break for the Adamses, but all in all, it was fairly nice.  Am I ready for classes to start back up on Monday?  .... not really .... But I can't really help that.  :P  Here's to getting back to the daily grind!

{All photo credit to Margaret Stroud}

Things that Warm My Heart

I love it when I'm greeted at the door by a hug from my little sis

I love hearing the words "I love you" coming out of the mouths of Mom and Dad

I love coffee dates with friends

I love reading a passage of Scripture that really touches my heart

I love good home cooked meals

I love encouraging others

I love taking photos

I love getting handwritten letters

I love to talk about happy things

I love having one-on-one time with my mom

I love long road trips with friends and family

I love having a close relationship with all my brothers and sisters

I love witty phrases

I love bright colors

I love happy music

I love to hop on a swing and push myself back and forth lazily

I love cold, rainy weather

I love cool breezes

I love bright, carefree spring days

I love dancing around the house while listening to music

I love singing along to my favorite songs

I love to watch movies that portray a strong leader

I love to read

I love life

Love

Over the past several days the issue that has been weighing heavily on my heart is that of love.  And I don't mean the romantic mushy-gushy kind of love, I mean the sort of love that Christ emulated.  The love that He commanded me to show towards others.  You know what?  It's really hard.

"By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."  ~ John 13:35

I always knew that love was more of an action than it was of a feeling, but that head knowledge of the past has moved down to heart knowledge.  It has become something that I have experienced and have had to learn how to deal with ... the hard way. 

Why did God put me on this earth with other people?

Relationships are hard.  Period.  And yet it is my job to try to get along with everybody I come into contact with.  "If possible, as far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men." ~ Romans 12:18  Why is it so easy to get along with everyone some days, and then on other days it's impossible?

I get angry sometimes, but I never get angry enough that my whole body shakes with emotion ... until a few days ago.  This relationship that I had had been festering for years and it finally came to a head.  I had pretty much had it with this person and they said something that really pushed my buttons and this time, it not only sent me into orbit, it shot me head first by way of cannon fire into some galaxy beyond the Milky Way!!!

I generally calm down fairly quickly after having a spat, but this time it took muuuch longer (about an hour, I think).  I had been pushed, shoved, hurt, and pounded into the ground in this relationship (and I'll be the first to admit that I brought most of it on myself).  I was sick and tired of it!  With this last fight I had reached the very end of my rope and had no idea how to remedy the situation.  Quite honestly, I stopped caring.  It just didn't seem to matter anymore.

That's when my dad asked me what I could do to love the other person involved.  I had no desire to love the other person.  In my eyes they had done nothing deserving of my love.  In fact, it appeared that they had done everything in their power to spurn any love I've ever offered to them (not that I ever tried very hard).

But then I flinched as I realized that what I was experiencing was a vivid picture of Jesus' dealings with Israel.  Israel tested Him, spurned the love that He offered, and brutally nailed Him to a cross, leaving Him to die.  And yet He loved them anyway, continuing on in His humble servitude towards them.  He continued to pursue them, even when they didn't want to be pursued.  He continued to love them, even when they had no desire to be loved.  Israel was completely undeserving of Christ's love, yet He loved them anyway.

How imperfect am I?

It felt like I had been slapped across the face.  It felt like God had taken me by the shoulders and shaken my world around!  I am called to be like Jesus, I cannot give up on that other person.  I cannot leave them in the dust, moving on to the next person.  Are they undeserving of my love?  Maybe.  But I know that I am most undeserving of Christ's love, and yet He extends it to me everyday of my life anyway.  Ouch.

Love like Christ.  That one statement holds the hardest task I am called to perform ever.  The sheer size of it makes me shrink back discouraged.  "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." ~ Philippians 4:13

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life." ~ John 3:16

Lord, help me.

Day 1: Success

{Photo Credit}

It was easier than I originally thought.  I rolled right out of bed at 7:35 wide awake and ready to spend some time with Jesus.  For those of you who don't know, I'm doing a 1 year Bible plan with a dear friend of mine.  However, I have fallen behind somewhat in my reading seeing that I usually only have a quiet time about 4 times a week.  Yes, I am now 10 days behind, but I finally finished the readings for February this morning.

It was so nice to be able to flip open my Bible to where I had left off, coffee in hand, and read in the sweet, blissful silence of the early morning.  My entire family was still asleep, leaving the house to be used by me and me alone.  I spent time in the chapters of Leviticus, Mark, Psalms, and Proverbs.  Directly afterwards, I spent a good deal of time in prayer, praying for things that I hadn't considered praying for in the past.  Isn't it amazing how God will impress certain things upon your heart? 

I loved my prayer time today.  Through it I became encouraged in my walk with God.  I see what my heart is like now, but I know that God has the power and the know-how to change it and mold it into something that will please and honor and glorify Him.

Yes, I would call Day 1 of my new resolution a success indeed.

Coffee with God

It seems like within the last 24 hours I've been slammed from all sides.  Things didn't go the way I planned or worked for, and I got discouraged.  One of the most dangerous things I can do when this happens to me is to let my mind wander, because when I allow it, I get extremely depressed.  My thoughts whirl around so quickly that I think my head will explode!

But then I was struck with something.  How diligent have I been over the past couple of weeks in digging in to the Word?  Not just reading a few chapters, snapping it closed, and then moving on to other duties of the day without giving it a second thought ... but really digging in?  If I'm not diligent in the one area that matters, why should I expect that other areas of my life are going to run smoothly?

It came to my attention that while God is ALWAYS faithful, I'm only faithful for a very short while.  Too often do I shove my quiet time out of the picture, saying things like "I'll do it later today".  When I have thoughts like that, I never come back to pick it up til the next day, or maybe even the next, or perhaps the next.  If I am not faithful to God, why should I expect Him to remain faithful to me?  Now I know that it is part of God's character and He will be faithful at every moment of the day, but it makes me even more undeserving of His wonderful love if I have not loved Him in return.

There was a time when I was up before a good portion of the household, coffee in hand and Bible open before me.  This was my daily routine, always setting aside time for God.  Schoolwork, household chores, family, all these came strictly after I had spent a significant amount of time with my King.  Nothing got in the way.  But somehow, that sweet time of communing with my Savior started slipping away.  My quiet times became erratic, to say the least.  I have started them back up so that I have at least 3 or 4 a week, but I know that that's not enough!

Perhaps I should say that I am now encouraged to give Him the first part of my day everyday!  Yes, I realize that this means getting up earlier each morning, and no, as of right now, I am not looking forward to that part.  But I am excited about what things God will teach me and how much more I will learn when I am faithful at reading my Bible everyday and spending time in prayer everyday.  Growth in my relationship with Him is what I want more than anything else right now!  And I truly believe He has given me that hunger.

Coffee with God.  Yes, that's what I'm going to try to get back to.  Join me!

The Sun is Shining

The air is sweet, the breeze is blowing, the sun is shining.  Today is going to be amazing!  Today, I'm going to try to get some studying done and I'll probably take some time out to listen to music as well. 

I read a bit of the Psalms and Proverbs today (perhaps 2 of my favorite books in the Bible) and was just encouraged at how good God truly is.  Nothing can be done outside His awesome will.  He has a plan for my life -- not sure what it is yet -- and He will faithfully lead me.  My life is not my own to live, but it is to be lived to the fullest for God's glory.  It doesn't matter what I do, be it cleaning my room, taking a test, talking with friends, watching a movie, or anything else I decide to do, it's for Him and Him alone.

Have an awesome day, everyone!

Soli Deo Gloria!

Things of Beauty

He who walks blamelessy and does what is right and speaks truth in his heart; who does not slander with his tongue and does no evil to his neighbor, nor takes up reproach against his friend; in whose eyes a vile person is despised, but who honors those who fear the Lord; who swears to his own hurt and does not change; who does not put out his money at interest and does not take a bribe against the innocent.  He who does these things shall never be moved.  -- Psalm 15:2-5

The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds his hand.  I have been young, and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his children begging for bread.  He is ever lending generously, and his children become a blessing.  Turn away from evil and do good; so shall you dwell forever.  For the Lord loves justice; he will not forsake his saints.  They are preserved forever, but the children of the wicked shall be cut off.  The righteous shall inherit the land and dwell upon it forever. -- Psalm 37:23:29