Undercover

It's nothing special, just a small blue building on the side of the highway nestled between apartment complexes and a law firm.  People drive by it all the time, every day.  There is nothing about it that makes it stand out.

Contained within those blue walls, however, are people who do things that make my heart break within me!  It is within those doors and hallways where women who feel like their backs are against a wall go to take care of their "problems."  These so-called problems are also some of the most precious things on this planet.

Mica and I began a mission today.  Our mission is to pray down abortion clinics, begging God for this heinous act to become extinct in America. 

We began our day in prayer together, asking God to give us boldness in our stand for righteousness.  Then we grabbed our Bibles and stood outside that blue building and prayed like never before!

At first I was nervous.  A bunch of "what if's" began swirling round in my mind.  What if someone who worked at the clinic ran us off?  What if this wasn't how we were supposed to be spending our morning?  What if this wasn't a good idea after all?  But as I began to pray, all the "what if's" melted away.  What we were doing may have looked strange to the world around us - standing there on the sidewalk by the highway, reading our Bibles, singing (at least, I was), and praying - but we are called to live by standards higher than those of the world's.

We had been praying for about a half an hour when a lady came out and introduced herself to me.  The thought that instantly popped in my head was, oh no!  Looks like we're going to have to leave now.  The confrontation, however, went quite differently than I expected.  She introduced herself, looked at my open Bible, and said, "God bless you!  Thanks for doing this!  We felt a 'bump' when y'all got here!"  I couldn't have been more astounded!

She said that she and two other people came every time the clinic had killing hours and did street counseling.  She thanked us for praying and gave us her contact information.  After that, the two with her poked around the corner and thanked us as well with smiles and God bless-es.

God encouraged me through that experience like none other.  Mica and I have decided to do an hour of prayer outside that clinic once a week.

If you would, please pray that God's will would be done!  Pray that He would provide evangelism opportunities through this, and that He would be glorified.  Also, please pray that the abomination of killing unborn babies would halt entirely!  It's a huge undertaking, but with God, all things are possible!

I will continue to pray, and I know that God will continue to become more real to not only myself, but also to those we encounter.

Soli Deo Gloria! 

Camping...

My fellow tent-setter-upper and I.  This guy was a trooper!

So, two days ago, I did the unthinkable.  I took 4 of my younger siblings, by myself, camping.  Yes, my friends, camping.  Actually, 3 of them were very responsible and were not a problem.  Only the youngest of them, Miss Talkalot, was a bit of a handful.

Not sure why we bothered with a clothesline since we were ALWAYS

in the water!  :P

However, we did have a good time, getting lots and lots and lots and lots and ..... okay, you get the point .... we got lots of swimming in.  :)

We enjoyed a gorgeous sunset, a gorgeous morning, and great outdoor weather all-around, unless you wanted to sleep, in which case the stillness and heat did nothing to summon a quickness to slumber.  But other than waking up about once an hour to silence Miss Talkalot, buy a cold drink from the vending machine for a certain over-heated brother, and calm a scared-just-had-a-nightmare sister, I had a great night's sleep!

The first night, we gathered kindling, and built a legit fire.  I was able to make
some scrambled eggs for supper, and then we all had fun roasting marshmellows and eating s'mores.  The next day, however, we were so tired that we just showered charcoal in lighter fluid, lit a match, and tried to cook our hot dogs before the flames went out.  Much lighter fluid was used in the making of lunch.


After that, we swam for another couple of hours, packed up camp, and headed home with what I'd like to think as an added healthy glow to our skin, but what Mom would like to say was closer to sunburn than anything else.  Difference in opinions, that is all.

The little people enjoying the water

We had fun, but I think I'll wait for a time when the WHOLE family can go camping next time.

Growth Spurt

I'm a pretty happy person most of the time.  I like to be happy, and I take pleasure in finding the joy to be had in the small things of life.  I think most people who know me would agree with that assessment...
...except of course, my family, who knows me better.

A few weeks ago, God brought me to my knees in shame and anguish.  I felt utterly unworthy of life as I stood aside and allowed my pride and selfishness to take control.  Not only did I make the lives of those I lived with miserable, all 11 of them, but I also managed to make myself miserable.  God allowed me to see myself as the miserable wretch that I was.  I felt legitimate pain when I looked in the mirror each morning.

One evening, after a particularly awful day, I melted into a sobbing mess of desperation and contriteness as Mom and I had a rather unpleasant heart-to-heart (but one which I am very grateful we had!).

I remember, after saying all there was to be said,  crying out, "But why does it have to be so HARD???"  Mom just looked at me, and with the wisdom that only comes from a lifetime of experience, said to me, "they're growing pains.  They hurt, but, if you really learn from this, they'll make you grow and mature in a way that never would have happened if you never went through it."

My heart ached within me.

I knew I had seriously messed up, and from where I sat, there was no getting out of it.  I would feel the weight of my guilt pressing in on me until the day I died.

My heart voiced its frustration along with the Apostle Paul:  "For I do not understand my own actions, for I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate,"  and again, "So I find it that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand.  For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the sin that dwells in my members.  Wretched man that I am!  Who will deliver me from this body of death?"  (Romans 7:15, 21-24)


But I failed to factor in grace.  God's grace.


Yes, it is a seriously challenging ordeal to have to walk barefoot over sharp rocks under the cover of darkness on the path of faith, but the thankfulness and constant state of worship are worth it at the other side.

There are still some things I have to learn and take to heart, but God is faithful.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the faith that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." (Hebrews 12:1-2)

Fact

Fact:  I spent 9 hours writing and stylizing a book review today

Fact:  Food is tastier when hungry

Fact:  God is good, all the time

Fact:  When I found out Luke hit a tree with the van, I laughed.  Really hard.

Fact:  I have the tendency to adopt people (I just adopted my first daughter last week, but only just informed her today)

Fact:  I have been adopted by one of my roommates and her boyfriend as their daughter

Fact:  Losing your debit card, while quite awful when caught up in the moment, actually forces you to spend less money, so may be an act of Providence

And there you have it!  A short list of the things I have been occupied with for the past couple of days.  Life is good.  :)

19 ... Say What?

18 was a good year.  It was filled with all kinds of new experiences that I can now add to my "have done" list.

For instance, during this past year I had my first ever nose-bleed (we're talking about an event not unlike the infamous Mt. Saint Helen's eruption), judged my first ever speech and debate tournament, started my first ever year of college, hit my 1 year mark at my job, had my first ever couple of weeks as a staffer at Worldview Academy, made my first ever apple pie with homemade pie crust (never has a more difficult feat been conquered), spent my first ever month on my own taking care of two of my brothers, etc.

Yes, 18 was full of surprises.  Probably more than I can say for 19.  Why?

19.  The forgotten year.  The year that nobody ever thinks about but everyone assumes you must live through in order to get to the age of 20.  Nothing big ever happens to 19-year-olds.  Catastrophes and adventures that happen in books and movies seem to skip right over those 19-somethings and hit either the 18-year-olds or the 20-year-olds, but never those who fall in the 19 category.

Somebody's got to change this.

I hereby declare that I will set out to make 19 the "golden age" of all teendom.  It will be a time where life is lived to its fullest, mountains are climbed, territories are settled, and grand adventures are had.  It will be a year of growth and development in my relationship towards my family and friends, and an age where important things are accomplished.

Methinks I am a bit of a dreamer ...
... but please...
...don't kill my dreams ... ;)

Ramblings

I collapsed on the floor, shaking with the unbearable convulsions that laughter brought.

I can't tell you how much my family means to me!  My mom, sister and I sat around the kitchen reminiscing old times, times that my sister and I could recall with perfect clarity whilst my mother tried, without success, to bring the same scenes to remembrance.  Eliza and I told one story after another from our little kid years, and Mom just sat there laughing as each image was brought to life with much imitation, acting out, and singing (yes, let's not forget the singing).

It was so much fun bringing back the old times.  For instance, there was the time when we had to construct an ear (yes, a human ear) out of our school table, a pot, plastic wrap, and rubber bands.  Then there was the time that Zach dressed up like Montezuma (hawk cap and everything) and we reenacted the battle between him and Cortez.  There was even a time when we had to make a miniature version of the temple, as well as turn our living room into a larger depiction.

We relived co-ops that we did or didn't like (you should see Eliza imitating her Spanish teacher [this was the scene that had me collapsed on the floor]), and favorite unit studies.  We told the tales of which of us remembered which details from which lesson, and which ones needed a bit more prodding.

My sister and I remembered back to the times when we went crazy after dinner and brought out "the band."  These were the times when the Adams children went wild, bringing out albums by Petra, Carmen (not the opera), and Phantom of the Opera (the opera).  Each one of us had a specific instrument we had to play while one of us always took the part of the lead singer.  Then we would turn the music up loud, play our air instruments, and sing our little hearts out.  =D

Oh yes, those were the days...

My Heart Will Go On

His arms reaching out to be held, Josiah simply couldn't stop smiling and laughing as Zach scooped him up!  For a few precious moments, Zach held Josiah close in a sweet embrace.

This tender scene played out in my home when Zach finally made it home for the summer months.  He'd been away for roughly 9 months studying at LeTourneau University, and everybody was ready for an extended visit.

Watching Zachary leave for college was a hard thing for me to walk through.  To me, it felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest with no hope of  restoration.  I was saying goodbye to life as I knew it, and it was the most painful experience I'd ever endured.  

Zach was my playmate, the one with which I had spent many long years building up memories.  We did everything together!  We chased ducklings around our backyard, "traveled" thousands of miles in the campers we built on our bunk beds, stayed up late listening to music, had movie marathons, ran cross country, discussed history and philosophy, took care of younger siblings, etc., etc., etc.  If one of us was in the middle of something, chances were very good the other was right there in the thick of it too!

I remember the week Mom, Dad, and I moved him into his dorm.  We went up for two days, and I thought it would give me some transition time so that saying goodbye wouldn't be nearly so difficult.  

I was wrong.  

I was fine the entire first day and  a half, but the last half of the second day was brutal.

As I watched Mom and Dad each gave Zach a hug goodbye in their turn, my emotions began to rise.  

Then it was my turn.  

I embraced him, and he, me.  As I clung to him on that hot August evening, I realized that it was to be the last I was to see of him until Thanksgiving.  All our lives, we had never spent more than a week apart from each other's company.  I could hold back the tears no longer!  Out they came, streaming down my face as I choked out a feeble "I love you" and turned away.  I walked as quickly to the car as possible without looking back.  

I couldn't bear to look back and watch him shrink away in the distance. It was like if I let myself watch him grow smaller and smaller behind me, I would see with my own eyes my life slip away!  I just couldn't do it.  Instead, I spent the entire 5 hour car ride home in silence, grateful for the dark of night that covered any outward signs of grief.  I felt like I had been shot through the heart.  Honestly, though it's absurd to think of now, I thought I had lost him for forever.

But you know what?  Throughout that first semester, we became closer than ever.  God strengthened our relationship in a way that never would have happened if he had stayed at home with me and my family.  It wasn't until this past year, in fact, that I realized how important sibling friendships truly are.