"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." ~ Proverbs 31:30

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Living Differently

I inwardly sighed as the customer watched the screen intently, pointing excitedly at the price of Texas peaches, telling me that they rang up incorrectly yet again.  "Remember," she said with a sickeningly sweet smile.  "This happened last time too!  They're 50 cents a pound, not a dollar."  I changed the price for her, annoyed, but trying not to show it.  I wanted to scream since this same customer had made my IPM's (items per minute [scanned]) drop by 1.5 points earlier that same day.  I was doing my very best to get her out the door, and she just wasn't cooperating!!!

Unfortunately, this is a story that has played itself out time and time again.   Every time a customer wants to argue prices or has to have their groceries packed in such and such a way, I plaster a big 'ole smile on my face, say "Yes ma'am," grit my teeth (to keep my thoughts from taking on words), and get the job done.   Yeah, customers are that frustrating at times.

But then it hit me.  I thought about salvation.  Jesus says, "I am the way, the truth, and the life.  No one goes to the Father except through Me (John 14:6)."  And I thought about how it is only by God's grace that I will gain life eternal.  So, if it is by Christ alone that I get to heaven, then there is nothing that I can do to get me there.  If there is nothing that I can do to get me there, then I have to rely fully upon Jesus.

If I am nothing, then I should live like it. 

One thing I have struggled with in the past is the idea of rights.  Rights are those things that we think we're all entitled to, and heaven help the poor suckers who try to take them away or act like we're nothing ... like customers.  As a Christian, I am to live a selfless life, one lacking in rights, and overflowing with servitude coupled with love.  If Christ Himself became nothing for my sake, then is it right for me to ask for more for my view of my own life?

Living differently from the world means realizing that I am nothing without Christ, and that Christ defines who I am!  Living differently requires me to live like I am nothing, keeping my expectations of  being treated well at a bare minimum.  It's hard, but it's in my weaknesses that Christ is shown strong!

All I want is to live a life that honors Christ.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Mulling Over Life

It's kind of funny.  When I was away at Worldview Academy, I had purpose for my life.  I had a sense of direction and fulfillment that was lacking before I went.  For three weeks, I knew precisely what I was supposed to be doing!

And then I came home.

Yes, life has been strange, to say the least.

One thing is certain, since being home, my faith in the Lord has been strengthened!  My prayer life has become more meaningful, and my time in the Word is definitely more fruitful.  Scripture memorization is something I've added to my quiet times, which is awesome because in order for the Lord to bring Scriptures to mind, it has to have had gone in first.  He is faithful, my friends, so let's strive to be faithful to Him!

Yes, I'm still floundering as to what He would have me do in the fall (be it school or something else entirely), and it's frustrating to know that He works -- in my mind, at least -- in a very last-minute fashion.  I know He does this to force me to trust His planning and timing, but it doesn't remove the fact that it's still challenging.  I know He has a plan for my life, yea even for the fall, but as of yet, He's left me in the dark about it.

So what am I doing with my time right now?  I'm reading more, working, and pressing in on my relationships.  I've spent a lot of time sharing with my parents my concerns and hopes for my life.  I've spent a lot of time thinking about life.  I've spent a lot of time praying about life.  Like I said, God has a plan, He just hasn't filled me in yet.  Even so, I continue to pour out my heart to Him, knowing that my life is in good hands.

If anybody needs anything to pray about, I'm asking for your prayers!  Please pray that I would find solace in the knowledge that my life is in God's hands, and that He would reveal His plan to me at exactly the right moment.

God is SO good, and in that I can rest.  :)

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

It Died

Today is a dark day in the life of Alex's treasured-but-cheap mp3 player.  Yes, today is the day that you will all remember as the day that Alex's mp3 player met its tragic death in the bowl of a toilet.  R.I.P. little mp3 player.  We shall never meet again.  The end.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

A Happy Heart

I remember standing in the shower one morning in May thinking, "What am I doing?  I'm about to go out on my own for a few weeks, meet up with total strangers .... to do what???"  Three weeks later, those complete strangers had become some of my best friends.

I returned home on Friday from a month spent away with Worldview Academy.  If I could describe my experience in one word, it would be awesome -- in every sense of the word.  It was awesome to see God work!  It was awesome to get to spend time with my students.  It was awesome to watch my team bond so quickly (day 3 of staff training).  It was awesome to get to talk with much deeper thinkers than I could ever hope to be.  It was awesome to give of myself so much and so often that I had no choice but to let God take over.

I could go on and on and tell stories about how we found a turtle on the side of the road and dropped it into Cara's lap, or about spending a day at the lake and playing a quick game of ultimate on the beach.  I could talk about Leah trying to doctor up David's leg late one night while the rest of us laughed until our sides hurt!  I could enlighten you about races with my students.  I could write about one of my girls accepting Christ!  I could tell of the great discussions we got into as we traveled from Oklahoma to Texas.

But I'll save those for later.

My heart is so full right now!  I've had the best three weeks of my life!  I went from not knowing a soul on campus to loving each one of those souls deeply.  God truly blessed me by allowing me to get to know each of them.  Yes, I'm in the grieving process as I learn to let go again (seems to be a common theme in my life), but you know what?  I wouldn't trade those weeks for the world!  Where else are you going to find 20+ people sold out for Christ and who have a willingness to share that passion with others?  Sometimes I wish I didn't have a heart.  ;)

I'm struggling with being home right now, because my heart has yet to find its way back.  It's currently in Mississippi with my Worldview Academy family.  However, I know that God has a plan for the rest of my summer, I just have to keep pressing into Him while I wait for that purpose.  He is so good!  I am so thankful for the time He gave me with those amazing people!  Like I said earlier, I wouldn't trade my experience for the world!  Praise God, for His mercies are new every morning!

Soli Deo Gloria!