Over the past several days the issue that has been weighing heavily on my heart is that of love. And I don't mean the romantic mushy-gushy kind of love, I mean the sort of love that Christ emulated. The love that He commanded me to show towards others. You know what? It's really hard.
"By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." ~ John 13:35
I always knew that love was more of an action than it was of a feeling, but that head knowledge of the past has moved down to heart knowledge. It has become something that I have experienced and have had to learn how to deal with ... the hard way.
Why did God put me on this earth with other people?
Relationships are hard. Period. And yet it is my job to try to get along with everybody I come into contact with. "If possible, as far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men." ~ Romans 12:18 Why is it so easy to get along with everyone some days, and then on other days it's impossible?
I get angry sometimes, but I never get angry enough that my whole body shakes with emotion ... until a few days ago. This relationship that I had had been festering for years and it finally came to a head. I had pretty much had it with this person and they said something that really pushed my buttons and this time, it not only sent me into orbit, it shot me head first by way of cannon fire into some galaxy beyond the Milky Way!!!
I generally calm down fairly quickly after having a spat, but this time it took muuuch longer (about an hour, I think). I had been pushed, shoved, hurt, and pounded into the ground in this relationship (and I'll be the first to admit that I brought most of it on myself). I was sick and tired of it! With this last fight I had reached the very end of my rope and had no idea how to remedy the situation. Quite honestly, I stopped caring. It just didn't seem to matter anymore.
That's when my dad asked me what I could do to love the other person involved. I had no desire to love the other person. In my eyes they had done nothing deserving of my love. In fact, it appeared that they had done everything in their power to spurn any love I've ever offered to them (not that I ever tried very hard).
But then I flinched as I realized that what I was experiencing was a vivid picture of Jesus' dealings with Israel. Israel tested Him, spurned the love that He offered, and brutally nailed Him to a cross, leaving Him to die. And yet He loved them anyway, continuing on in His humble servitude towards them. He continued to pursue them, even when they didn't want to be pursued. He continued to love them, even when they had no desire to be loved. Israel was completely undeserving of Christ's love, yet He loved them anyway.
How imperfect am I?
It felt like I had been slapped across the face. It felt like God had taken me by the shoulders and shaken my world around! I am called to be like Jesus, I cannot give up on that other person. I cannot leave them in the dust, moving on to the next person. Are they undeserving of my love? Maybe. But I know that I am most undeserving of Christ's love, and yet He extends it to me everyday of my life anyway. Ouch.
Love like Christ. That one statement holds the hardest task I am called to perform ever. The sheer size of it makes me shrink back discouraged. "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." ~ Philippians 4:13
"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life." ~ John 3:16
Lord, help me.
"By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." ~ John 13:35
I always knew that love was more of an action than it was of a feeling, but that head knowledge of the past has moved down to heart knowledge. It has become something that I have experienced and have had to learn how to deal with ... the hard way.
Why did God put me on this earth with other people?
Relationships are hard. Period. And yet it is my job to try to get along with everybody I come into contact with. "If possible, as far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men." ~ Romans 12:18 Why is it so easy to get along with everyone some days, and then on other days it's impossible?
I get angry sometimes, but I never get angry enough that my whole body shakes with emotion ... until a few days ago. This relationship that I had had been festering for years and it finally came to a head. I had pretty much had it with this person and they said something that really pushed my buttons and this time, it not only sent me into orbit, it shot me head first by way of cannon fire into some galaxy beyond the Milky Way!!!
I generally calm down fairly quickly after having a spat, but this time it took muuuch longer (about an hour, I think). I had been pushed, shoved, hurt, and pounded into the ground in this relationship (and I'll be the first to admit that I brought most of it on myself). I was sick and tired of it! With this last fight I had reached the very end of my rope and had no idea how to remedy the situation. Quite honestly, I stopped caring. It just didn't seem to matter anymore.
That's when my dad asked me what I could do to love the other person involved. I had no desire to love the other person. In my eyes they had done nothing deserving of my love. In fact, it appeared that they had done everything in their power to spurn any love I've ever offered to them (not that I ever tried very hard).
But then I flinched as I realized that what I was experiencing was a vivid picture of Jesus' dealings with Israel. Israel tested Him, spurned the love that He offered, and brutally nailed Him to a cross, leaving Him to die. And yet He loved them anyway, continuing on in His humble servitude towards them. He continued to pursue them, even when they didn't want to be pursued. He continued to love them, even when they had no desire to be loved. Israel was completely undeserving of Christ's love, yet He loved them anyway.
How imperfect am I?
It felt like I had been slapped across the face. It felt like God had taken me by the shoulders and shaken my world around! I am called to be like Jesus, I cannot give up on that other person. I cannot leave them in the dust, moving on to the next person. Are they undeserving of my love? Maybe. But I know that I am most undeserving of Christ's love, and yet He extends it to me everyday of my life anyway. Ouch.
Love like Christ. That one statement holds the hardest task I am called to perform ever. The sheer size of it makes me shrink back discouraged. "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." ~ Philippians 4:13
"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life." ~ John 3:16
Lord, help me.
Alex,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this raw account of love. I agree with you that loving the people sometimes is not easy in the least. But Jesus Christ did just that, in the greatest way possible - the Cross. Our Father IS love. May He strengthen His own, giving us all we need to accomplish what He's set before us. I know He will. :)
Many blessings, friend!
jes
Ah, such a tough one. But, oh, how necessary! The more you practice loving the "tough ones" now, the easier it becomes later on. I won't ever say "easy," but yes, "easier." Praying for you as you continue to learn to love like Christ.
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