Living Differently

I inwardly sighed as the customer watched the screen intently, pointing excitedly at the price of Texas peaches, telling me that they rang up incorrectly yet again.  "Remember," she said with a sickeningly sweet smile.  "This happened last time too!  They're 50 cents a pound, not a dollar."  I changed the price for her, annoyed, but trying not to show it.  I wanted to scream since this same customer had made my IPM's (items per minute [scanned]) drop by 1.5 points earlier that same day.  I was doing my very best to get her out the door, and she just wasn't cooperating!!!

Unfortunately, this is a story that has played itself out time and time again.   Every time a customer wants to argue prices or has to have their groceries packed in such and such a way, I plaster a big 'ole smile on my face, say "Yes ma'am," grit my teeth (to keep my thoughts from taking on words), and get the job done.   Yeah, customers are that frustrating at times.

But then it hit me.  I thought about salvation.  Jesus says, "I am the way, the truth, and the life.  No one goes to the Father except through Me (John 14:6)."  And I thought about how it is only by God's grace that I will gain life eternal.  So, if it is by Christ alone that I get to heaven, then there is nothing that I can do to get me there.  If there is nothing that I can do to get me there, then I have to rely fully upon Jesus.

If I am nothing, then I should live like it. 

One thing I have struggled with in the past is the idea of rights.  Rights are those things that we think we're all entitled to, and heaven help the poor suckers who try to take them away or act like we're nothing ... like customers.  As a Christian, I am to live a selfless life, one lacking in rights, and overflowing with servitude coupled with love.  If Christ Himself became nothing for my sake, then is it right for me to ask for more for my view of my own life?

Living differently from the world means realizing that I am nothing without Christ, and that Christ defines who I am!  Living differently requires me to live like I am nothing, keeping my expectations of  being treated well at a bare minimum.  It's hard, but it's in my weaknesses that Christ is shown strong!

All I want is to live a life that honors Christ.

Mulling Over Life

It's kind of funny.  When I was away at Worldview Academy, I had purpose for my life.  I had a sense of direction and fulfillment that was lacking before I went.  For three weeks, I knew precisely what I was supposed to be doing!

And then I came home.

Yes, life has been strange, to say the least.

One thing is certain, since being home, my faith in the Lord has been strengthened!  My prayer life has become more meaningful, and my time in the Word is definitely more fruitful.  Scripture memorization is something I've added to my quiet times, which is awesome because in order for the Lord to bring Scriptures to mind, it has to have had gone in first.  He is faithful, my friends, so let's strive to be faithful to Him!

Yes, I'm still floundering as to what He would have me do in the fall (be it school or something else entirely), and it's frustrating to know that He works -- in my mind, at least -- in a very last-minute fashion.  I know He does this to force me to trust His planning and timing, but it doesn't remove the fact that it's still challenging.  I know He has a plan for my life, yea even for the fall, but as of yet, He's left me in the dark about it.

So what am I doing with my time right now?  I'm reading more, working, and pressing in on my relationships.  I've spent a lot of time sharing with my parents my concerns and hopes for my life.  I've spent a lot of time thinking about life.  I've spent a lot of time praying about life.  Like I said, God has a plan, He just hasn't filled me in yet.  Even so, I continue to pour out my heart to Him, knowing that my life is in good hands.

If anybody needs anything to pray about, I'm asking for your prayers!  Please pray that I would find solace in the knowledge that my life is in God's hands, and that He would reveal His plan to me at exactly the right moment.

God is SO good, and in that I can rest.  :)

It Died

Today is a dark day in the life of Alex's treasured-but-cheap mp3 player.  Yes, today is the day that you will all remember as the day that Alex's mp3 player met its tragic death in the bowl of a toilet.  R.I.P. little mp3 player.  We shall never meet again.  The end.

A Happy Heart

I remember standing in the shower one morning in May thinking, "What am I doing?  I'm about to go out on my own for a few weeks, meet up with total strangers .... to do what???"  Three weeks later, those complete strangers had become some of my best friends.

I returned home on Friday from a month spent away with Worldview Academy.  If I could describe my experience in one word, it would be awesome -- in every sense of the word.  It was awesome to see God work!  It was awesome to get to spend time with my students.  It was awesome to watch my team bond so quickly (day 3 of staff training).  It was awesome to get to talk with much deeper thinkers than I could ever hope to be.  It was awesome to give of myself so much and so often that I had no choice but to let God take over.

I could go on and on and tell stories about how we found a turtle on the side of the road and dropped it into Cara's lap, or about spending a day at the lake and playing a quick game of ultimate on the beach.  I could talk about Leah trying to doctor up David's leg late one night while the rest of us laughed until our sides hurt!  I could enlighten you about races with my students.  I could write about one of my girls accepting Christ!  I could tell of the great discussions we got into as we traveled from Oklahoma to Texas.

But I'll save those for later.

My heart is so full right now!  I've had the best three weeks of my life!  I went from not knowing a soul on campus to loving each one of those souls deeply.  God truly blessed me by allowing me to get to know each of them.  Yes, I'm in the grieving process as I learn to let go again (seems to be a common theme in my life), but you know what?  I wouldn't trade those weeks for the world!  Where else are you going to find 20+ people sold out for Christ and who have a willingness to share that passion with others?  Sometimes I wish I didn't have a heart.  ;)

I'm struggling with being home right now, because my heart has yet to find its way back.  It's currently in Mississippi with my Worldview Academy family.  However, I know that God has a plan for the rest of my summer, I just have to keep pressing into Him while I wait for that purpose.  He is so good!  I am so thankful for the time He gave me with those amazing people!  Like I said earlier, I wouldn't trade my experience for the world!  Praise God, for His mercies are new every morning!

Soli Deo Gloria!

A Grand Adventure

It's never been far from my mind as I've gone about my life during these past couple of weeks.  School took up a lot of time, but I always managed to keep track of how many days I had left until it happened.  I've been utterly filled with excitement as my new volunteer work looms ever nearer.  I fully expect to give it my all, throwing myself into these next couple of weeks with a passion like no other!  Yes, very soon, I will head to the airport and take off for staff training for Worldview Academy.

As the time for departure draws steadily nearer, I am finding very little time to reflect.  I am growing ever closer to God (especially with my marathon Bible reading plan [you should try it sometime ;) ]), and I cannot wait to see the iron sharpen iron next week with my fellow staffers!

This past week, I have been so blessed to get to take part in last-minute coffee dates, movie nights, and surprise drop-ins.  It's so funny how when friends call me up to see if we can hang out, my first response is always: With what time???  Which immediately turns into: I'll make it work!  I'm going to fit you in somehow!!!  The past two weeks have been hectic, to say the least, but also have been great fun!

When I got the call back in April asking me to staff at an extra camp, I thought the day would never come fast enough!  I really can't believe it's almost here!  I've been trying to spend more time with my family during this past week, seeing that I won't get the chance to hug them, play with them, or really talk with them until mid-June.  No, I haven't had as much time with them as I would have liked, but I don't regret a moment of these past couple of weeks!  They're all so very precious to me!

And now I get to my goals for these next couple of weeks.  I simply cannot wait to see how much God grows my faith as I step out of my comfort zone to try my hand at something new.  I can't wait to get to know my small groups and really pour into their lives.  I'm thrilled to get the chance to staff with the one team I have not heard, thus meaning I'll be learning right alongside my girls.  Yes, God is so good!  I pray that I will come back refreshed in the faith and ready for whatever is next on my plate.

So, until I get back, God bless, and soli deo gloria!

Everybody Loves Bill

Luke and I huddled around the computer screen to watch this comedy routine by Bill Cosby last night. We pretty much LOVED it. And, because everybody loves Bill, I thought I'd post it here. =D

Well Hi!!!

Haha!  Wow!  It has been a long time since I've thought of anything blog posty-ish.  No, nothing thought-provoking has been on my radar of late, mainly because since finishing school last week (woot!), I've been caught up in a whirlwind of high school graduations, work, and trying to get back to a normal life.  Ah well, life is good.

Ok, so, you know how I've changed my college major three times and still have not entirely settled as to what I want to do?  Yeah.  In the midst of the greatest ambiance in the world (a.k.a. Barnes and Noble), Mom and I discussed my life over a glorious cup of coffee.  It wasn't until last night that I realized why I flit back and forth between the things I supposedly want to do and then change my mind so quickly.  It was so obvious that I missed it until last night!  I have no vision for my life's story.  That's it!  I have no idea where my life is going to go in the next couple of years (hopefully it'll go somewhere).

Let me just pause here and say that my mom is the only person I know who can get me to cry in public.

Okay, back to my story.  So I was sitting there, in the middle of Barnes and Noble with a mocha latte on the table in front of me, trying not to make a sopping wet mess of the world and all its inhabitants as my mom and I FINALLY realized what's been wrong with me!  I won't deny it:  this thought had me depressed for a short while.

But with my depressing realization also came hope.  I know that God has a plan for my life!  And you know what?  I'm super excited about what He has in store for me!  His plans for my life are far beyond anything I can comprehend, and it gives me something specific to pray for.  I just know He will reveal Himself to me, and that He has a specific kind of work set aside for me to do.  I don't know what it is yet, but I can't wait to discover it!