"Alex, you just need to learn to let go!"
"My whole life over the past 2 years has been learning to 'let go', so don't you tell me about 'learning to let go', buster!"
This was the argument I had with an unnamed sibling this afternoon. And what I said was true, but maybe I shouldn't have been as upset as I was ... or should I?
It seems like every time I turn around, I have to let go of something or someone else. Not again, is the thought that usually circulates through my head nowadays. It just feels like I've had to give up so much over the past 24+ months! And that's not even counting having my van in the shop, getting a flat in the truck, driving the toyota around (which I really like, actually), having a broken oven, and dropping a class ... which all happened over the past 10 days or so!!!
What you need to understand is that I live solidly under the "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" policy. Quite honestly, life was perfect the way it was, and there was no good reason for it to change. NO. GOOD. REASON. PERIOD.
I got several comments about my "George Bailey" feeling yesterday, and I'm going to try to explain it today.
Every time I turn around, it seems like my friends are the ones who get to expand their horizons, meet new people, see new places, and experience new and exciting things. Meanwhile, I'm the one who still hangs out with the old friends (who I LOVE, mind you, DON'T GET ME WRONG), works at the same job, and goes about the same old activities. I have a simple, mundane life, the one I've led for 18 years, that hasn't changed much at all ... until now. But even then, the only thing that has changed about it are the people who move out of my small, little world.
I get the "yeah, well life is hard" comment a lot, but hearing it doesn't make it any easier. I miss the way life was 10 years ago with a passion! In a way, I'm glad life is painful right now because it means that I've developed strong relationships with others and have come to love them very much. But on the other hand, I'm not really one for pain. :P
And so, I thought I should explain myself. :) I know life will all of a sudden seem wonderful to me again, but I'm still waiting for that moment. In the meantime, I'm going to stop moping about and look for joy in the little things.
God bless!
"My whole life over the past 2 years has been learning to 'let go', so don't you tell me about 'learning to let go', buster!"
This was the argument I had with an unnamed sibling this afternoon. And what I said was true, but maybe I shouldn't have been as upset as I was ... or should I?
It seems like every time I turn around, I have to let go of something or someone else. Not again, is the thought that usually circulates through my head nowadays. It just feels like I've had to give up so much over the past 24+ months! And that's not even counting having my van in the shop, getting a flat in the truck, driving the toyota around (which I really like, actually), having a broken oven, and dropping a class ... which all happened over the past 10 days or so!!!
What you need to understand is that I live solidly under the "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" policy. Quite honestly, life was perfect the way it was, and there was no good reason for it to change. NO. GOOD. REASON. PERIOD.
I got several comments about my "George Bailey" feeling yesterday, and I'm going to try to explain it today.
Every time I turn around, it seems like my friends are the ones who get to expand their horizons, meet new people, see new places, and experience new and exciting things. Meanwhile, I'm the one who still hangs out with the old friends (who I LOVE, mind you, DON'T GET ME WRONG), works at the same job, and goes about the same old activities. I have a simple, mundane life, the one I've led for 18 years, that hasn't changed much at all ... until now. But even then, the only thing that has changed about it are the people who move out of my small, little world.
I get the "yeah, well life is hard" comment a lot, but hearing it doesn't make it any easier. I miss the way life was 10 years ago with a passion! In a way, I'm glad life is painful right now because it means that I've developed strong relationships with others and have come to love them very much. But on the other hand, I'm not really one for pain. :P
And so, I thought I should explain myself. :) I know life will all of a sudden seem wonderful to me again, but I'm still waiting for that moment. In the meantime, I'm going to stop moping about and look for joy in the little things.
God bless!
I feel your pain. I'm gonna feel it a lot more when I graduate in May. :-/
ReplyDeleteI'm the QUEEN of "not one for pain," my dear! :) Alright, so I'm just the plain queen, but be that as it may, when the potter is molding his creation, the pressure applied is great. When the carpenter pulls out the rasp to smooth out the edges, it hurts (the thing looks like a cheese grater, for crying out loud! ;0 ). But in the end, when the Master is done there is something beautiful to behold and worthy of the Father's eye as it reflects His glory.
ReplyDeleteLooking for the joy in the process is a healthy way to proceed through the process, sister.
Otherwise, you can grouse and grumble and be like the toddler getting the haircut -- when you resist the barber, your bangs will always be crooked and THEN what a sight you are! ;)
I'll be praying for you, and I expect you to let me know if my bangs are crooked!
Mrs. Horton, that was so very encouraging! Thank you very much! I really needed to hear that today.
ReplyDelete