I've been home for about a month now. At first I was lost and confused as I wondered what I was supposed to do. I had and still have no clue as to why I was directed oh so clearly to come home.
My dad and I were driving around town the other day when he asked if I was still stressed. You know what? I'm really not. I'm finally letting myself just take a break for once and enjoy the time I get to spend at home with my family.
For the first time since my senior year of high school I am not being held to another's schedule. I do not wake up every day with a series of things I want to get done before work. I don't have to put my book down only to continually not resume where I left off for several weeks.
For the first time in forever I get to enjoy freedom.
No school, no work... just... time.
Time for hiking on the weekends. Time for reading all those books I've been meaning to get to over the past several years. Time for spending with my grandparents. Time for getting together with friends I haven't seen in ages. Time for being active. Time for snuggling with the baby.
Jake and I were in Hobby Lobby a few weeks ago, and I was looking longingly at all the craft supplies. I've always wished to be crafty, but just haven't had time or money to devote to anything. I told Jake that oh, someday when I have the time and money, I'll be back and start to create all sorts of things. That's when I stopped and thought about it. Wait a minute! I DO have the time and I DO have the money! What a realization.
I've been learning that it's okay to not always have a plan to work off of and it's okay to take a break for a bit. Knowing that God could change up my plans on a moment's notice means that I'm going to do my best to cherish each moment as it comes... especially since I know having this amount of time on my hands will probably never visit me again. It has been an interesting month, for sure, but I'm finally letting myself enjoy it.
And that's been an adventure all its own. :)
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