Be Silent

It was halfway through the questioning when I realized that things weren't going so well.  I offered up a quick prayer that God's will would be done, and braced myself for whatever was going to happen next.  Things weren't looking good.

About 2.5 weeks ago, I stood at the border control between Jordan and Israel in the hopes that my visa would be renewed for another 3 months.  My friends and I had left Israel that day to visit Petra, in the hopes that upon reentry we would be able to prolong out stay until our flight home in April.  My friends were asked just a few questions before obtaining their visas.  I, on the other hand, was questioned for some time before being told to wait off to the side as my "right" to be in the country was brought under discussion.

Finally, a lady came out and told me gruffly that I had 1 week to leave the country... or else...  She begrudgingly stamped my passport, crossed out the "3 months" and penned in "1 week" directly underneath.  At that point, all I wanted was to get as far away from her as possible and go back to the safety of my friends.

That night I couldn't shut my brain off.  I kept considering my options and reliving the past 3 months that I was able to spend in Israel.  I thought of how my plans were being cut short and how I still had no idea what I was going to do when I got home, but I also thought of everything that I had wanted to do in the country since arriving there and realized I'd done it all.  I wasn't upset, just confused as to what to do.

The next day we decided to have our Bible time on the shores of the Red Sea.  I immediately flipped to the story of Moses parting that very body of water and tried to imagine such an event happening.  It was then I got to Exodus 14:14, "The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent."

I had only to be silent

I was truly alright at the time with whatever outcome, be it going home or staying.  Yes, I did have a few days where all I wanted to do was go home, but God always brought me back to the place where being okay with either outcome was not just an option, it was a necessity.  And so, God worked with me until I relearned that bane-of-my-existence-lesson: contentment.  The day that I woke up and was truly 100% A-OK with either outcome again was the same day that He saw fit to send me home.

But that's only one part of the story.  Why did Israel want me out of there?  You'll just have to tune in later...