I bet if you're reading this you are human, and by nature of being categorized as such can sympathize with me in a certain area. Over the course of your life, I'm willing to bet money that you've had at least one week where everything seemed to fall apart. Got your attention yet?
This past week was perfectly riddled with imperfection -- my own imperfection
It seems that from start to finish, I managed to fail a million times within each day. As my little list of failures continued to grow, so also did my frustration with myself and others. From there it was one easy step to slip into the blame game.
Work, family, and relationships were all incredibly difficult for me. Once I had struggles in one area, I let it bleed into another and build upon the other struggles that were non-existent until I let that first area infect the rest. Craziness, I tell you!
Those are the things that threatened to undo me this week. Every time I turned around I had a new attitude to change, a new perspective to fight for, and a new resolution to kill my terribly inward focused attitudes.
If you don't struggle with this, my hat goes off to you. Truly. My personal bane is my constant need to fight for a proper outlook (See? Even "outlook" connotes looking outside of oneself) when it comes to life. I know it's not about me, but I'm so good at forgetting. So very, very good at it. I think I've attained expert level.
This week has been a sad string of bloody battles that I have lost more than won.
But I have hope. I have hope that Jesus isn't done sanctifying me. I have hope that His plan for my life doesn't end in the despicable mire of my own sin, but rather in freedom from it that is final. I have hope that this too shall pass.
I pray that God would continue to burn away my dross. I know that I have quite a lot, and I'm aware that it's painful in the moment, but I also know that it's utterly worth it in the end. And so my journey continues.
Soli Deo Gloria
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