In the Presence

My hands flailed wildly as I tried in vain to illustrate the way I felt.

How do you even begin to describe something that perplexes your spirit?

How do you put into words something that blows your mind?

I was lost in conversation with a friend.  We were originally talking about some painful circumstances going on around us, and for some reason I can't explain, the moment the conversation got to the most painful portion, God awakened my heart to His love.  I was overwhelmed!

All of a sudden, I felt very unworthy, and I wanted nothing more than to break down and cry.

I had the sudden urge to lay prostrate before my Savior!  What kind of love drives you to do something like that?  What kind of love brings you to your knees in utter consternation?

Now, I know Jesus, but one thing I simply can't wrap my mind around is why He took a brutal scourging for me.  Or why He tried to carry that cross beam on His freshly wounded back for me.  Or why He lay there in submission as wicked looking nails were driven into the thick flesh of His palms and the bones of His feet... for me!!!

I heard it once said that if someone were to sacrifice their life for me, could I doubt that they loved me?

I don't doubt the love of my Lord, what I don't understand is why

"What is man, that you are mindful of him, or the son of man, that you care for him?"  Hebrews 2:6

I mean, do you know who Jesus is???  This same Jesus redeemed my soul from hell and brought me into His presence. Into His presence???  Does He not realize what I am???  My mind continues to be blown. 

"He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power.  After making purification for our sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high, having become as much superior to angels as the name he has inherited is more excellent than theirs." Hebrews 1:3-4

My eyelids began to blink rapidly.  I was awestruck as all of a sudden salvation became much more precious to me, and something I promised Jesus I would never take for granted.

"For it was fitting that he, for whom and by whom all things exist, in bringing many sons to glory, should make the founder of their salvation perfect through suffering."  Hebrews 2:10

Thank You, Jesus, for being who You are and for rescuing me from myself, even though I can't quite wrap my mind around Your love.

I will not boast in anything

No gifts, no power, no wisdom

But I will boast in Jesus Christ

His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from his reward?

I cannot give an answer

But this I know with all my heart

His wounds have paid my ransom