Attitude Isn't Everything

Alarm rings.  Roll over and turn it off.  Tumble out of bed and hobble to the door on swollen feet.

*grumble, grumble, grumble*
*complain, complain, complain*

Showered and dressed, head downstairs to grab a cup of coffee.  Gulp it down in a swallow or two and head for the car.  Can't take the car today, get dropped off.

*grumble, grumble, grumble*
*complain, complain, complain*

Customer demands explanation as to why coupon didn't go through.  Try to keep a lid on it.  Vent once home.

*grumble, grumble, grumble*
*complain, complain, complain*

"Do all things without grumbling or complaining," was the oft quoted verse around our house growing up.  I hate that verse.  Why?  Because I need it.

Attitude.  It pervades everything we do, making our lives either the most joyous of experiences or the most wretched.

If there's just one thing that I've been learning recently, it's that while your attitude isn't everything, it sure is a lot.

All my life I've struggled with maintaining a positive outlook on life and the things that God has set before me to accomplish.  While I'm pretty good at hiding my distaste when I'm out and about, God and my family sure aren't fooled.


It wasn't until very recently that I realized how many areas there were for me to change my attitude toward.  But here's the interesting thing, once I began to actively try changing one area, the rest got easier, to the point where I wasn't even trying anymore.  I realized that my life was made up of preconceived notions and I wasn't willing to relinquish my hold on the way that I thought life was supposed to look.

By God's grace, He opened my eyes to my incorrect way of thinking.

But how did I go about changing a sour attitude?  For one thing, it meant swallowing my pride, willing myself to be humbled by God.  The next step was to be willing to be teachable.  My friends, it's HARD.

It's hard to swallow your pride and ask God to help you change your attitude.  It's hard to succumb to His prodding.  It's hard to be active in changing.  It's h.a.r.d.

But it's worth it...

Because letting God sanctify and mold you into something that resembles more Christ-like behavior is always worth it.

I'm by no means perfect at this.  I know that I still have a long way to go, but instead of grumbling about that, I will strive to rejoice in the knowledge that this means that God and I will be working very closely together for a while longer .... before He brings some other issue to my attention.  :)

Attitude isn't everything, but it sure is a lot.

Great is His Faithfulness

How am I to summarize, learn from, apply, or be appropriately thankful for all that has happened to me this year?  How do I best put into words and describe how utterly different I am today, how vastly different of a person I am from a year ago?  How do I give God all the glory that is His due?

Adequate words escape me.

Looking back on a year ago from today, these are the things that constituted my circumstances:

I was frustrated with my life, not really having any direction, yet not wanting to change anything.  The fear of the unknown had reached its zenith.  

I was getting ready to leave the safety and familiarity of home to try out something new for the semester, and quite frankly, I wasn't looking forward to it.  

The depression of my high school years had continued on through my first year of college, making me highly apathetic and unmotivated in everything.  I even turned myself into a victim, letting everything bring me down.  I threw the encouragement of the people around me right back at them with a "thanks, but no thanks" mentality.

A year ago from today, I was hanging onto unhealthy attitudes and ways of thinking because they were the things I knew and was familiar with, even though I knew they needed to change.

Today, looking back, I clearly see how God turned my life around.  Where a year ago I was spiritually dry and spent, today, I am full!  Where a year ago I was drowning in self-pity, today I pray for God's help in having a better attitude and outlook on life.  Where a year ago I was apathetic, not caring about anything anymore, today I am filled with joy!  Where a year ago I was lacking in motivation and purpose, today I have hope for tomorrow.

God has shown His faithfulness towards me yet again throughout this year.  He is so good, and I am utterly thankful for His kindness in allowing me to learn and grow like never before throughout this year.

I know myself, and I know what I was 1 short year ago.  I'm here to tell you that I stand before you now a changed daughter of the King, having a clearer understanding of who my Father is.  I pray that 2013 will continue my growing period and that at the end of next year, I'll be able to tell you that I'm a completely different person then than I am today, having an even clearer understanding of my Father.

Here's to a year of growth in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ!  

May you have a blessed New Year!

Creed

I am a part of the "Fellowship Unashamed."  The die has been cast.  I have stepped over the line.  The decision has been made.  I am a disciple of Jesus Christ.  I won't look back, back up slow down, back away, or be still.  My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure.  I am finished and done with low living, sigh walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, chintzy giving, and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or prosperity.  I now live by presence, lean by faith, love by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by power.  My pace is set, my gait is fast, my goal is Heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions few, my Guide reliable, my mission clear.  I cannot be bought, compromised, deterred, lured away, turned back, diluted or delayed.

I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity.

I am a disciple of Jesus Christ.  I must go until Heaven returns, give until I drop, preach until all I know, and work until He comes.  And when He comes to get His own, He will have no problem recognizing me.  My colors will be clear.

~Anonymous

problems with contentment

You know what's wrong with contentment?  It makes you love life wherever you happen to be.  It doesn't seem to matter if you're in the middle of a noisy house filled with small children or sitting by a roaring fire while watching White Christmas.  Life just sorta seems to be good no matter what!

What else is wrong with contentment?  Joy.  Don't you hate how joy manages to finagle its way into your little heart making you see the world through rose-colored glasses?  By the way, I never liked that saying.  I mean, who would want to see the world through a monotone-sepia-colored lens?  Ugh.  I prefer to see life with vibrant colors!  The kind that really pop and make your eyes behold a beauty that was once so faded.  That's what would bring joy to my heart.

But I digress.

I'm currently enjoying the peace that comes with Christmas music and softly glowing candles.  I've unpacked after my simply delightful visit home for Thanksgiving and am gearing up to tackle these last three weeks of the semester.

Beauty is the refocusing of life.

Peace is the understanding that my life is completely in God's hands.

Hope is in the knowledge that school will be over in three weeks.

Joy is in the contentment I have with the way life is right now.

God has been so good to me!  Who am I that He has decided to bless me in ways that I can't even begin to comprehend?  He is God, and God is good.

Observations

It's so nice to be home for Thanksgiving!  10 days off of school is a pretty generous vacation if you ask me.

I got home late Thursday evening, and have been soaking in the sights, smells, and various other joys that only home can bring.

One of my favorite things about being home is getting to see a plethora of stars!  In Dallas, we get to see our star; a single sphere of light.  On clear nights we get to take in the joys that three stars can bring.  At home, however, I get to sit in my backyard next to a roaring fire (contained in the fire pit, of course) and gaze at a sky filled with stars!  Do you know how free that makes me feel?  :)

Also, being home typically means I get to indulge in a Del Cook moment or two!  Yes, ladies and gents, this means that I get to walk in after church on Sundays and instantly my olfactory senses are filled to capacity with the delightful scents of pot roast and roast vegetables.  Oh, be still my beating heart.

At this point, I'm looking forward to Wednesday when my older brother will be able to join us for Thanksgiving festivities!  I haven't seen him since August, so it will be great to catch up over turkey and green bean casserole.

And that's a real quick update of the goings on in my life.

This is Hunky Dory, signing out!

Sleepy in Dallas

As I write this, my eyes are drooping shut with sleep.  It's been a long but good day, and here's a quick recap.

I got so much done school-wise today!  This is good because over the past two weeks I feel like all my focus has gone out the window, followed closely by any motivation to focus.  I'm so thankful to God for productive days!

I've found myself just randomly bursting out with a "Thank you Jesus for _____."  I've been overwhelmed with thankfulness for the small things of late.  Generally I thank Jesus for the gorgeous weather, for my awesome roommates, for warm blankets, for hot showers, etc.  Maybe getting my focus back on track is what has helped me focus again in school.

Ok, that wasn't really a recap, but you get the idea.

The time has now struck the wee hours of the morning, so I'm going to call it quits.  Good night world!  Pleasant dreams.  :)

Midterms ... Again ...

I should be studying.  I should be studying.  I should be studying.

Ok, now that you know how guilty I feel about not studying at the moment, you should know that I studied all of last night and all of this morning for a midterm today, and while I justify my not studying by saying that I have already done so, all that studying is worth rot now as I should be gearing up for tomorrow's midterm.  Yes, that was one sentence, no, you shouldn't judge.

Yes, it is that twice annual event of midterms once again!  Yippee!  Oh wait, not yippee.  Yippee connotes a sense of joy and happiness with much froth.  That is not exactly the emotion I wish to strive to convey at this moment in time.

Perhaps I had better say something along the lines of... Blast!  Blast because I want to blast this midterm out of the water.  Blast because I want to communicate the strong veracital emotion with which I shall destroy this midterm.  Blast because... well... you get the point.

Tomorrow afternoon I shall be taking midterm 4 of 5.  You may be thinking to yourself, oh, well, if it's number 4 of 5, then she's already taken 3 and knows what she's doing. 

Make my insides quake with sarcastic mirth.  

This midterm that I shall be blasting left and right on the morrow is actually one for which I know not how to study!

Oh, but it'll be alright, won't it?  I mean, it can't really be that bad, can it?

Sure.  Whatever helps you dream of little lambs hopping picket fences with double rainbows glistening overhead.

And now that I have procrastinated with much laughing blasting and joy sarcastic mirth, I shall strive to make sense of various family structure development theories.  It should be great fun.